Life Purpose Inventory: Questions to Get You Thinking

Why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing?

Why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing?

These questions—and their related variations—are eternal. They are also essential. Life is tricky and it can get heavy. If you’re not careful, it can drag you down and keep you down. Having purpose is what empowers you. It gets you off the canvas and back in the fight.

Why Do You Need to Know Your Life Purpose?

Some people may declare that they have enough purpose in the everyday life they were given. Thus, it’s helpful to not see the phrase “your life purpose” as part of a pressurized competition. Making the effort to discover your life purpose is a powerful step towards creating a new starting point for yourself. If you are at point A and your purpose is waiting for you at point B, that trip has to start somewhere at some time.

Thinking about your life purpose leads you to an intentional point of departure. From there, your mission begins. You rise each morning with purpose. You close your eyes each night knowing you’ve done the work.

6 Questions to Get You Thinking about Your Life Purpose

1. How Important is Income to Me?

It goes without saying that we all need to make money, pay bills, and create some kind of financial safety net. But different paths lead you towards different economic likelihoods. Hence, you need to seriously assess your materialistic drive. This is not a judgment. Rather, it’s an observation that will profoundly shape your path.

2. What Drives and Energizes Me?

As mentioned above, purpose is about rising each morning with a sense of mission. Do you bolt out of bed, raring to go? Or do you drag yourself into work each day? Your mind and body answer this question for you, do your best to pay attention. Tune into yourself and get a better sense of what lights you up.

3. What is Worth Making Sacrifices For?

Except in very rare instances, there are no free lunches. Everything comes with a cost. There are many trade-offs in life. This is why you must know what purpose is worth the sacrifices you may be required to make.

4. Who Are My Role Models?

Innovation and uniqueness are irreplaceable. But this doesn’t mean we have to re-invent the proverbial wheel. Seek out those who have blazed similar paths and learn from them. Emulate them. Benefit from the journey they’ve already taken. Success leaves clues. You are wise to follow them.

5. Who Do I Want to Help?

Couple this question with “How can I help them?” There is no success that does not involve gratitude and giving back. And nothing reflects “purpose” like actively reaching out to make a difference in someone’s life. Consider this question to be foundational in your search for purpose.

6. How Much Am I Willing to Evolve, Grow, and Learn?

Finding your life purpose initially involves a willingness to grow. But there’s another factor that doesn’t get enough attention. Determining your purpose is not necessarily a linear path. The entire journey is a process. How willing are you to question your current situation, challenge your thoughts and make real changes?

Bonus Question: What if You Can’t “Discover” Your Life Purpose?

Fortunately, there’s no rule that says you can’t ask for some help in finding answers.

Your life, in many ways, is a product of those you spend time with. The people you trust and bond with help shape you and your path. Working with a counselor is a fine example of this process.

A few therapy sessions might provide fertile ground for new ideas and perspectives. Brainstorming and exploring in a safe encouraging environment is a powerful way to learn more about yourself and your potential. Contact me soon for a consultation. Together we can seek out your life purpose.

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Is There a Connection Between Childhood Emotional Neglect and Adult PTSD?

childhood emotional neglect

Time and age share the same forward trajectory. Though it might seem that neither time nor age carries a significant enough relevance to help you live free from the past. Furthermore, your past experiences could haunt you or impact you in unexpected ways. And you might not even realize it. The way you feel or react could catch you off guard. You might even have trouble identifying why you feel the way you do. Many people experiencing symptoms from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) have that problem. If that's you, here's how your past and PTSD may be connected.

Who Is the Young Trauma Victim?

Childhood emotional neglect sounds like a very serious and intense experience. And it is. The thing about it is that it happens in little bits at a time, and it can be very subtle. Many people imagine neglect as withholding food or water from a child. While it certainly can be failing to provide the basics, it can also be a lot more. For instance, emotional neglect also includes not giving a child appropriate emotional support. This could mean failing to answer a child's cry for help, ignoring them when they were talking, or not validating their feelings. Overly critical parents or the absent parent also fail to provide emotional support. Many victims of emotional neglect often weren't hugged or shown physical affection. One of the most significant forms of childhood emotional neglect is the failure to form secure attachments. For one reason or another, a parent or caregiver isn't emotionally available for the child. In turn, that child goes about life with a shattered sense of trust because they weren't able to form a healthy attachment to the parent or caregiver.

When Flashbacks Debilitate

Those who face emotional neglect in their childhood often have developmental struggles. It can impact you so greatly that you may not have physically or cognitively developed properly. On the other hand, you may have appeared perfectly normal on the outside all the way to adulthood. It's on the inside where you most likely feel abnormal. But, eventually, these unseen effects slowly begin to overflow into other areas. Certain situations, turn of phrases, or even smells could trigger what are known as "flashbacks." You may feel like you did as a child during these flashback moments. Feelings of worthlessness or anger are common ways people with PTSD react when experiencing those flashbacks. Moreover, flashbacks have a way of interfering with your relationships, too. When you weren't able to form an attachment to your parents or caregiver, it conditioned you to approach all other relationships the same way. That's why, throughout your life, you may have always felt distant or detached from people. In short, flashbacks are a key element in identifying PTSD and many survivors of childhood emotional neglect experience them.

How the Trickle Qualifies as PTSD

Professionals used to believe that a diagnosis of PTSD was only fitting for those individuals who had an intense emotional response to the traumatic event. This meant that a person had to go through a jolting and extreme event to trigger PTSD symptoms. But childhood neglect is more like a trickle or continuous little drops. Kind of like a faucet that never turns off. Eventually, it overtakes you like a flood, but it doesn't happen all at once. Yet, at the same time, victims of childhood emotional neglect display many of the same symptoms as those experiencing PTSD—avoidance, a negative outlook of the world, and feeling detached from other people. As mentioned before, flashbacks are also a key symptom. Today in the field of mental health care, the ongoing trickle of childhood emotional neglect now qualifies as a cause for PTSD. In fact, the two are connected in a cause and effect sort of relationship that can have a an impact for many years. If you'd like to learn more about the connection between children emotional neglect and PTSD, please contact me for your 30-minute complimentary consultation. Together, we can uncover the hidden causes for why you feel the way you do and find a way to empower you to reclaim your life.

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How You Can Experience Natural Anxiety Relief with Magnesium

natural-anxiety-relief

It seems everyone complains that there’s a “new miracle cure” every week. Well, this may be true according to our trending news feeds and click-bait articles. But, in reality, our bodies know what works.

If it’s natural anxiety relief you seek, you don’t need a “miracle cure.” Your path towards peace of mind may start with magnesium.

What is Magnesium and Why Is It So Important for Anxiety?

Magnesium is a powerful calming dietary mineral. It boasts a wide range of positive effects on your mind and body. It is necessary in over 600 metabolic functions and has been called “nature’s Valium.” Magnesium offers natural anxiety relief in many ways for example:

• Activates important neurotransmitters to allow the brain to better relax

• Increases your brain’s ability to heal itself

• Removes heavy metals from your system

• Reduces both stress and the presence of stress hormones

• Reduces bodily inflammation, including brain inflammation, which not only causes anxiety but depression and memory loss

Unfortunately, modern life, which tends to be heavy on highly refined foods, has led to widespread magnesium deficiency. This deficiency allows anxiety the opportunity to creep in. Sometimes we don't even realize it's happened.

Who Needs Natural Anxiety Relief?

Anxiety is much more than feeling nervous, edgy, or shy. It's a common diagnosis presenting symptoms like:

• A chronic sense of doom, panic, tension, and being in danger

• Uncontrollable worry

• Avoidance of anything or anyone who we fear may trigger us

• Loss of focus, inability to concentrate

• Physical symptoms like rapid breathing, sleep disturbance, digestive issues, increased heart rate, weakness, sweating, or trembling

It’s easy to see why anyone experiencing such symptoms would seek a non-invasive and natural form of relief like magnesium.

4 Ways Magnesium Can Offer Natural Anxiety Relief

natural anxiety relief

1. Make changes to your eating habits

The great news here is that you can eat your way to magnesium help. Here are some of the top food sources for magnesium: black beans, almonds, cashews, spinach, soy milk, shredded wheat cereal, sunflower, squash and pumpkin seeds, tempeh, avocado, and peanut butter. Many ways to obtain magnesium through daily nutrition.

2. Incorporate supplements

Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxer so when you're looking for supplements be mindful of the type on the health food store shelf you pick up. You may encounter a wide range of chemistry-sounding words attached to it. Magnesium carbonate, glycinate, citrate, malate, taurate, and more are available. Make sure to find a variation that is easily absorbed and easy on the stomach and bowels. Educate yourself so you can properly care for yourself.

3. Stabilize Blood Sugar

A hypoglycemic attack may occur when the brain does not get enough of its primary fuel course, glucose. This leads to low blood sugar and the subsequent release of stored sugar. The end result is a sensation, not unlike a panic attack. Magnesium supplements have been found to prevent hypoglycemia and hence, reduce anxiety.

natural-anxiety-relief

4. Relieve Depression

The numbers, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, connecting anxiety and depression are staggering.

• The number of those with a major depressive disorder who are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? A whopping 85 percent!

• The number of those with an anxiety disorder who experience depression? An even larger 90 percent!

Magnesium’s depression relief properties play an added role in addressing anxiety. By raising serotonin levels (a mood-boosting neurotransmitter), magnesium is found to be as effective as antidepressants—often as soon as a week following introduction.

How to Separate Fact From Fiction

Of course, there’s much more to non-pharmaceutical healing than natural anxiety relief. No one expects you to master the nuances overnight. That’s where an experienced, well-rounded guide comes in handy. Rather than relying on what may be nutritional fake news, you can go to the source. Thus, working with a therapist who embraces a wide range of modalities is crucial. Everybody and everybody is different. A holistic-minded practitioner treats the person, not just the condition. Are you ready to connect the dots between how you feel and your nutritional needs? Please contact me soon for your 30-minute free consultation. I am here to support your journey!!

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Mentally healthy in the Workplace

mentally healthy in the workplace

Are you mentally healthy in the workplace?

It’s 7:56am, and a silver mini-van smashes into the rear-end of your car, sending you off the lane and into the highway shoulder. Within 5 loud seconds, you open your eyes to the dusty remnants of deployed airbags and honking horns surrounding you. You’re okay, but your car isn’t, and the Monday morning traffic has manifested into an impending time-consuming insurance mess, some trips to the chiropractor for whiplash, and a week-long rental car commitment. Not to mention, your boss and co-workers are awaiting your arrival to present your quarterly report. This is a very valid reason to be late. This is even a valid reason to miss work entirely that day, and perhaps the next few. Emergencies happen, and there’s an acceptance for sudden circumstances (medical or family related mostly) that are allowed to stand in the way of promptness and attendance in the 9 to 5 routine.

Now, let’s change the scenario a bit.

It’s 7:56am, and your heart begins to palpitate. Your chest heaves in and out heavily as you begin to hyperventilate, and the room feels like it’s spinning. That morning’s anxiety has built up from the fear of your upcoming office presentation manifested into panic, sending your body into complete fight-or-flight mode. The attack consumes your whole body. You open your eyes to find yourself curled up in bed after a brief blackout. You begin sobbing uncontrollably. Your neck is tense--in fact, your entire body is tense, your mascara is smeared across your face and your shirt is stained from the coffee spilling as you frantically searched to hold on to something for balance as the panic attack hit you. Your boss and co-workers are sitting in the conference room awaiting your arrival, wondering why you haven’t arrived to complete your presentation. Eyes frequently darting at the clock.  Why does it feel like you need to make up a lie about the reason for your lateness or even possibly your absence for the day? 

Mental Health and Stigma

One in five Americans suffers from some type of mental health disorder, so the likelihood of a co-worker experiencing rough times due to mental illness is not far-fetched. In fact, two out of five employees have been bullied at work. So now the odds are even greater that you will directly experience a mental health episode at work or see one of your coworkers struggling. Are you mentally healthy in the workplace? Why is there more acceptance and "forgiveness" for a car accident than for chronic mental illness? We all have to work towards eliminating the stigma! Although the stigma surrounding mental health illness has begun to slowly melt away in the workplace with insurance programs offering services through EAP (employee assistance programs) as well as new hire orientation programs educating on the subject, there is still a lot of work to do!! Reporting a panic attack to the boss creates much more anxiety than one related to a highway car accident or the baby being sick. Admitting mental health issues runs the risk of being cast in a “crazy” light leaving oneself open for judgement despite the irrelevance to job performance in most cases. Acknowledging such a taboo provides an opportunity to be treated differently (in a negative, outcast type of way) after coming out about an issue, which in itself be the domino that impacts how they feel in an office environment. This negative treatment eventually affecting work performance as well as adding to the mental health issue. It could make for a very unhealthy and unproductive cycle for all involved!

There is hope!

Thankfully, as science and education expand, acceptance follows, and mental health awareness throughout offices in America do show signs of progress. Recently, an employee openly expressed in her automatic email response that she would be taking time off to focus on her mental health. Her boss responded with gratitude, commending her for her confidence and openness on the subject that he felt reminded the rest of the employees to practice the same type of self-care. These types of reactions and support systems are extremely helpful in normalizing mental health in the workplace because for those of us who suffer, we know full well that issues stemming from mental health illness can be as debilitating is the worst case of the flu, traffic accident or any other family emergency deemed acceptable. Life is hard. Even for those who do not have the obstacle of chronic mental health issues, juggling everyday tasks, routines, demands surrounding the mind, body and health is a constant struggle. Throw in the added weight of mental instability and life does not get any easier. Work-life balance, specifically an emphasis on self-care, is imperative to maintaining a stable track mentally, physically and spiritually. Committing to daily practices like those found in your Mental Health Toolbox are just as important as setting your alarm clock or brushing your teeth. It is so necessary to stay in charge of your mental health journey and continue empowering yourself to be the best version of you that is possible. Reach your highest potential without allowing a diagnosis prevent you from anything less. Invest in yourself, empower yourself and education and you WILL evolve to greatness.  You can be mentally healthy in the workplace! I'm always available to chat. Don’t forget I have a 30-minute complimentary consultation available. I believe in you!

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All About CBD

All about CBD

What is CBD?

Now that "weed" day has come and gone, let's learn all about CBD! Cannabidiols or more commonly referred to as CBD is an oil derived from marijuana or industrial hemp which is considered at this time a dietary supplement. CBD lacks THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) that is found in marijuana therefore we don't get that "high" feeling when utilized.

Your body needs CBD!

What many don't know is that the human body has a system called the Endocannibinoid system that requires CBD to properly function in a healthy and effective way. Because there is no THC influence, the medicinal effects of CBD work on a grander scale. Neurological receptors within the human brain interact with the CBD and can provide relief within many aspects of mental and physical wellness.  

CBD and mental health!

Anxiety is prevalent among at least 40 million Americans, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. In a recent CBD oil survey, more than 50% anxiety sufferers who opted for the tincture completely did away with medications to treat the disorder. Studies revealed that using CBD oil for traumatic or stressful experiences can assist with controlling emotional responses associated with anxiety such as restlessness, palpitations, muscle tension and stomach butterflies. The reduction of stress for military veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder was shown in more recent studies. CBD oil has shown to be an effective combatant of depression, affecting almost 20 million Americans today. Animal studies have shown that the oil has a regulating effect on the receptors for serotonin. In depression, the serotonin levels are reduced, so stable control thanks to CBD effects would have a positive effect on mood.

CBD and physical health!

The idea that cannabis relieves pain is ages old, however scientific data has now proven it’s promise for relief. CBD oil has a numbing effect in the brain’s pathways for pain while reducing inflammation. It’s a common antidote for those suffering from chronic pain and even cancer patients receiving chemotherapy treatments. In addition to reducing the severity of pain, the use of cannabis also improved sleeping patterns.  The power of inflammation reduction goes beyond pain relief. Asthma sufferers also hail from the effects of the plant as it’s been proved to help with the dilation of bronchial tubes, making it easier to breathe.  For cancer patients, CBD oil acts as more than just a pain reliever however. Lab results have shown that the cannabinoids from the extract blast cancer cells through apoptosis (natural cell death). It helps prevent the reproduction of cancer cells while preventing new blood cells from becoming tumors. When CBD oil is running through the body, it creates a sort of protective wall that prevents cancer cells from spreading and penetrating into healthy tissue. Is CBD the cure for cancer? I don't know, however it is safe to say that sufferers gain from several beneficial effects by utilizing CBD.As the scientific research with cannabinoids expands, evidence has shined some light on cases of patients with epilepsy relying on CBD oil for seizure relief. The compound still has a long way to go, but in a medical track where the effectiveness of current seizure medications is not very high, CBD oil holds a promising position in healthcare with a low risk of side effects.

All About CBD!

So, how do you use it? There are a variety of ways to integrate CBD oil into your mental and/or physical remedies, most commonly in oil form that can be mixed into foods and drinks. Capsules are available, as are sprays and edibles. Many people enjoy cooking with CBG while some use bath bombs for it's beneficial relief.

Most studies have shown that CBD oil is a well-tolerated remedy, with no significant side effects on vital signs or mood, unless there were signs of improvement. At worst, the feeling of being tired was reported most often, with occasional changes in appetite or weight. An adequate amount of studies have not yet weighed out the risks of CBD oil on the long-term. Introducing CBD oil into your life is definitely a great way to take charge of your mental health and in some cases, your physical health journey however it is recommended to discuss with a qualified healthcare practitioner before use.

Do your own research and see if CBD is another tool you can put in your Mental Health Toolbox. I personally use Lazarus Naturals products. If you’d like to talk more about CBD and it’s impact on your overall well-being, I’d love to chat. Contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. Take care!

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DIY Your Mental Health Toolbox into Life!

“Take good care of yourself.”

For many of us sometimes sprinting through the rat race of life, the statement rings exceptionally loud as it floats through conversations with colleagues, family members and healthcare practitioners. What does self-care mean for you? From a holistic practitioner standpoint, it means to identify the needs of your mind, body and soul and to take the steps necessary to meet them. Let's look at one creative way to DIY your Mental Health Toolbox into life!In a world where we can witness or access anything or anyone at any time thanks to the internet and social media, practicing self-care in the 24/7 world while buried in regular life stuff like work and family can pose a challenge. But it is possible and with a little bit of prioritized time investment, it can even be creatively fun!In recent months, I’ve begun to build on the importance of this self-care way of life to encourage my clients to be the best versions of themselves as possible. A great supplement to the self-care routine that doubles as a creative catharsis project is your personal version of the Mental Health Toolbox. DIY your Mental Health Toolbox into life!

When I was doing community based services, I worked with young children as well as adolescents. For young people who are struggling with keeping it together at times, I would create a "coping skills bag" which is basically a portable Mental Health Toolbox. We would talk out what they liked to do and then I would fill their bag with those items. It could range from coloring books and crayons to legos or puzzles. The possibilities were endless! The point was they had immediate solutions at their fingertips of how to effectively manage their emotions and overall well-being.

As with the coping skills bag, the concept of the Mental Health Toolbox encourages you to have the proper tools necessary to empower yourself and take charge of your mental health journey at your fingertips. This toolbox will vary from person to person, and as your holistic therapist, I assist with helping you choose the tools that work best for your mental wellness.

Some of these tools can be the practice of better habits like adequate rest and nutrition, but some of them can be actual items that can be collected in your personal Mental Health Toolbox and need to be stored. The object is to have it within quick access when you are in need of self-care or relief from any of life’s day-to-day strains. These items can range from some of your favorite photos, a variety of journals, an uplifting book, scent oils or incense, bath bombs, healthy snacks, business cards for on-call massage therapists, your favorite teas, stress balls and anything under that sun that can act as a little friend to help get you through the day.

DIY Your Mental Health Toolbox into Life!

Because these items can go a long way in providing relief and relaxation, they most certainly deserve a good home!

DIY Your Mental Health Toolbox into Life!

DIY Your Mental Health Toolbox into Life!

DIY Your Mental Health Toolbox into Life!

I’ve found some of my favorite DIY self-care box ideas on Pinterest, posted below with an approximation on the cost of materials. I absolutely loved this neutral eco-friendly box that essentially costs nothing and would look beautiful in any room. Here’s what you need: - An old box suitable to fit your self-care items - A roll of Jute- A glue gun Approximate cost – Under $10When I came across this box, I immediately thought of the pile of magazines that I always keep handy for creative projects. This may be a little more time intensive but I can expect quiet, creative time in a well-lit room during the weekend could prove to be therapeutic. The love that you put into making this box will flow through to your self-care babies and glaze over you like warm sunlight on the days you need it most. Approximate cost - under $5 for glue stick and clips. If you're looking to express your self care in the form of de-cluttering, this DIY storage box is a perfect alternative home for old sweaters, leggings or flip-flops. My favorite things about this project is that I wouldn’t have to give up some of my favorite pieces because I have a great place to store them now. Approximate cost – under $5 for glue sticks; under $10 if you don’t already own a glue gun. Self-care should be as much prioritized as paying your monthly rent or mortgage, because it is essential for balance and personal success. But let's face it--self-care has to be practical or we won't follow through and do it! When you dedicate your self-love creatively with a calming project such as this, you reinforce your priority to yourself and your needs. Go ahead and DIY your Mental Health Toolbox. I’d love to see your toolbox photos!

I’m always available to talk about this more. Just contact me for you 30-minute complimentary consultation. Take care!

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Developing your Mental Health Toolbox

A Toolbox for overall well-being

A couple of years ago in trying to figure out which direction I was going both personally as well as professionally, I developed my personal mission statement:

“I will empower those around me with education to support and encourage their personal evolution.”

Mental Health Toolbox

I’m passionate about this concept because I had to learn the hard way that if we don’t care for ourselves, we begin to deteriorate mentally and emotionally, ultimately manifesting into long-term and chronic physical health issues. I’m talking about chronic health issues that could have easily been prevented had I just known how to manage my mental health and take care of ME! Those experiences, combined with my education and experience out in the world as a mental health provider, have given me the inspiration to take this to the the next level. One of my personal mantras is: “Don’t just talk about it, be about it!”  This is how the Mental Health Toolbox was developed. This toolbox can serve as your key to effective mental health management if embraced and applied with consistency and conviction in being the best version of YOU. I’m living proof!

Because I know these tools within the Mental Health Toolbox are effective, I wanted to take my vision to the next level and include local entrepreneurs to expand the Mental Health Toolbox awareness throughout Kansas City. This month, I have teamed up with wonderful collaborators supporting your mental health wellness while sharing the wealth of their own journeys to serve the people of Kansas City on a holistic level. For Spring, I will be giving away Holistic & Well Self-Care Toolboxes, armed with goodies meant to help bring peace and balance into your life. Please make sure you follow Holistic and Well on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn for details on how to win your Mental Health toolbox! I’d like to welcome the gracious and generous collaborators for our April giveaway. Please check them out!

Roni Townsend – Young Living Essential Oils

As a provider of a seemingly endless variety of essential oils, Roni’s business supports the Young Living Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to “empowering individuals to achieve their potential and defy limitations by providing wellness and education to underserved communities.” This amazing organization nourishes youth with resources and opportunities to break through hardships of third-world circumstances to encourage the evolution of leaders that can lead their families and countries in a positive direction. With allergy season around the corner, Roni will be providing a wonderful concoction of essential oils to help your body ward off the stuffy raw sinuses we all dread.

Shannon and Tonya – It Works

This duo will be offering products from their company, It Works! Their system is intended to tone, tighten and firm your body while enhancing confidence and a positive self-image. We may even do some in person collaboration so stay tuned!

Joan Johnson - My Touch Creations

An incredibly creative soul, Joan’s magical fingertips craft the most beautiful, handmade stationery gifts in the Kansas City area and beyond. She has been so generous to offer a gift of affirming and inspiring personal note cards to frame or to give away.

Real Things by Gaylyn

A Beautiful amethyst bracelet and pendant designed by Gaylyn will help clear your energy and assist with emotional healing. Hand-crafted in Nevada, MO, Gaylyn designs and creates each piece with love and positive healing energy.

What's inside yours??!!

Self-injury awareness

self-injury awareness

Self-injury awareness

Sixteen year old Allison** has been cutting her arms for years. She has many scars that tell a story of self-hate and loathing due to past sexual abuse. She was violated as a young girl by her sister's boyfriend. When she experiences intense emotions she feels she can't tolerate, Allison** takes any object she can find--a razor blade, thumbtack, paperclip just to name a few--and slowly drags the object across her skin. She tell me that the intense emotional pain she was feeling is now drowned out by the immediate physical pain from the tearing of her skin. She feels in control now because she has the power to stop or intensify the physical pain. Allison** is not an anomaly. In fact, she is one in two million people who are actively self-harming also known as self-injury. March is self-injury awareness month. Keep reading for more information.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is defined as the intentional injury against oneself due to an inability to effectively manage intense emotions.  Physical injury can include the slicing, scraping and/or burning of one’s own skin, excessive pulling of hair, head-banging against a wall or hard object, breaking of bones and several other damaging acts aimed at hurting oneself. Although these behaviors are demonstrated by multiple demographics, the more common sufferers of self-injury tend to be adolescent females, victims of abuse and individuals with mood disorders and lacking skills in expression and emotional regulation. In the U.S., there are at least 2 million reported self-injury cases each year. Clinically, this type of behavior is called Non-Suicidal Self Injury (NSSI).  

Why self-harm?

The sight of blood, the stinging of pain, the sound of a skull hitting the wall is, for many, the only instant distraction from intense and often stressful emotions and situations. If the skills to process and reasonably handle a difficult situation are not instilled within an individual, the act of self-injury acts as an immediate silencer from the alarms screaming inside the brain that are associated with intense stress. In some cases, self-mutilation is an act of punishment, or even a way to snap out of emotional numbness associated with depression or other mental illnesses. Regardless of the reasoning behind coping with stressful stimulant, the relief is temporary and unfortunately, self-injury serves only to perpetuate the underlying trigger that caused it. Understanding the why helps bring understanding to self-injury awareness.

Many times, self-injury breeds and continues the cycle of negative feelings as an individual is painfully reminded of the wounds or bruising during the physical healing process. Shame, guilt and even reliving the initial stressor that led to the act only further buries them into sorrow, oftentimes creating a new trigger cycle and more suffering. Mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, trauma and other emotional challenges are at the root of the self-injury entanglement.

Myths around self-injury

Information from self-harmers reveal that there are several myths surrounding the subject. The idea that individuals do it for attention or are ‘suicidal’ are not always true. Reading into the voices of some of these sufferers helps to better understand their coping mechanism. In the end, the act of hurting oneself is a desperate attempt to express dark emotions through physical pain rather than endure the internal pain and emotional agony within. Although this may be a common coping mechanism to handle stress for individuals with mental illness, it is not physically, mentally or spiritually healthy. The practice erodes the potential of circumstances improving, but thankfully there are ways to evolve the habit and replace with more effective cathartic ways of regulating stress and intense feelings. The first step in addressing any problem is to identify and name it as such.

Getting through self-injury

Mindfulness is an effective mental health tool in confronting the afflictions of the mind. There are several alternative mental road maps to take once that trigger is identified, and thankfully, many of them are within arm’s reach! Seeking support, be it confiding in friends, family or even a therapist can also provide relief and begin to teach methods that override the urges to self harm.  Therapy can also help build other social skills such as confidence and trust, feelings of empowerment and self-control and the potential for the evolution of mental well-being. I am here to support you and welcome a 30-minute free consultation.

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Allison** continues to struggle with effectively managing her emotional distress but she has made great progress. She hasn't self-harmed in months which is a great achievement!! She uses less and less self-injury and has learned healthy coping skills to manage her intense emotions. We continue to see each other and I'll continue to support her emotional growth.

**Client name changed to protect her identity

Resources

1-800-DON'T-CUT – More info on self-injury

*http://www.selfinjury.com – Referrals for therapists and tips for how to stop.

*1-800-273-TALK – A 24-hour crisis hotline if you're about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation.

*To Write Love On Her Arms (http://www.TWLOHA.com) - A non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

*1-800-SUICIDE – Hotline for people contemplating suicide.

*1-800-334-HELP – Self Injury Foundation's 24-hour national crisis line.

*1-800-799-SAFE – Domestic violence hotline.

*1-877-332-7333 – Real Help For Teens' help line.

Begin with sleep

begin with sleep

Begin with Sleep

As our everyday surroundings become inundated with advertisements to medicinally tackle mental illness, it’s easy to forget that many of the answers to well-being are free, easily accessible and natural. One of them is as comfortable as a just-washed down comforter, bamboo sheets and a mountain of pillows. Looking for overall wellness? Begin with sleep!!Among the most basic of survival functions, restful sleep can double as a weapon of mass destruction against mental illness. It comes down to the same biochemical targets aimed at by the pharmaceutical industries, only sleep costs nothing and negative side effects are obsolete.

Why is sleep so important

Circadian rhythm, or as many of us know it, the ‘body clock’ is the compass within us that tells our body when to sleep, wake up and eat, among many other basic physiological processes. How does it know? Sunlight, darkness, temperature and other biological changes within the body signal to the brain that it’s time for rest, food energy, and wakefulness with very precise timing. Think of a car and the signals you see on your dashboard when it’s time to change the oil, refill for gas or stop for a cool down due to overheating. If those signals are ignored, you can end up broken down on the side of the road with a thirsty engine or even motor damage. The human body’s functions work similarly. If the circadian rhythm is disrupted when our bodies don’t follow that internal clock, our mental health and balance are thrown off, which can be a major factor that leads to mood disorders, immune system breakdowns and physical ailments. To keep the body functioning at optimal level is to begin with sleep.

What happens when we sleep

While we sleep, although or bodies are almost at a 100% standstill, our minds and physiological systems are hard at work performing various functions involving the removal of toxins, reparation of cells, consolidation of memory and processing of information from the previous day. If these functions are not wholly implemented with adequate sleep, the following day often results in cranky moods, coffee dependence, impulsive decision-making, fuzzy concentration, decreased creativity and even a weakened immune system to name a few. The accumulation of these sleepless byproducts in turn begins to build a platform for more permanent mental damage that can lead to illness like depression or anxiety. If there is a history of past trauma, obtaining good restorative sleep may be near impossible. Even worse, these mental illnesses only perpetuate the sleep disruption, sending one further down the black hole of a choppy circadian rhythm, making it harder to get back on the right track.

Being proactive is key

The protective barrier of sleep is a must within our daily routines if we aim to be healthy and balanced individuals. Of course 7-8 hours of daily sleep won’t be an instant fix for any mental health disorders however it’s a definite factor that should be included in a balanced life. With adequate sleep should come proper nutrition and exercise with the added bells and whistles of mindfulness, grounding and meditation you’ve got a proactive health routine. Going proactive with your health helps prevent prescriptions, doctor and hospital visits which are typically factors of a reactive health routine. It’s recommended to stop any ill-health symptoms before they start!

First steps...

The remedies to a healthy balance of mind, body and soul can be as simple as intentionally making the choice to sleep adequately. Of course, changes in life-long habits may not come easy, and popping a pill may sound more convenient. However, understanding and digesting the long-term benefits of a clean, nourished and rested body should be enough to reject the medicine cabinet and into a more holistic balance for a better quality of life. Making daily use of your Mental Health Toolbox and taking the initiative to seek help with implementing healthy habits are great first steps in solidifying a consistent balance and healthy mental and physical state-of-being. I'm here to support your journey. Begin with sleep!!

Resistant Women of History

Resistant Women of History

Empowered, Educated and Evolved!

Resistant Women of History

Over a span of thousands of generations Mother Earth has produced exceptional daughters that have catalyzed the evolution of humankind. Throughout history, women have advanced the worlds of science, politics, arts, and countless family unit foundations that propel the rotation of the world to this day. Here are a few groundbreaking and resistant women of history that have empowered, educated and evolved the world by way of education and social evolution.

Elizabeth I

Resistant Women of History

Queen Elizabeth’s soulmate was none other than her country to which she was wed and owned her virginity through her lifetime. Her commitment to leading England was demonstrated in her effective unification of the country against foreign enemies. What’s most intriguing is that she was never actually meant to be Queen. She landed the role by what many consider sheer luck after a string of unfortunate deaths within her royal family led to her ownership of the crown. Her grace, charisma and success as a leader disproved the age-old notion that only men were fit to rule a people. As one of the resistant women of history, she defied norms of being a ‘gentlewoman’ that conformed to silence of opinion, childbearing and needlework. She managed to advance her struggling country financially with authentic morale among her people. Her love for the land overpowered any desire to wed a man, despite occasional love-lust affairs throughout her years.

Marie Curie

A two-time pioneer in the Nobel Prize world, Madame Curie, born Marie Skłodowska Curie was the first woman awarded the prestigious international award for her work in physics and chemistry in the early 1900s. The first, shared with her husband Pierre Curie, was for the collaborated discovery of the elements polonium and radium in 1903, though his tragic death followed soon thereafter. She assumed his post as a teacher and continued her research independently, regarding her a Nobel Prize recipient for a second time, being the first woman to hold the title twice. Thanks to their combined research, x-ray equipment was made available to victims during World War I. Madame Curie would even drive herself to the front lines as the head of the International Red Cross to ensure the equipment was delivered, despite the danger and occasional criticism from her peers that a woman was leading in science. Madame Curie’s daughter, Irene, would later go on to also win a Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Thank you Marie Curie for being one of the resistant women of history and bringing so much to the world we know today.

Resistant Women of History

Frida Kahlo

Known for her defiant feminist nature, Frida Kahlo was a famed artist from the outskirts of Mexico City riddled with tragedies expressed in her pieces. As a child she survived polio, and was encouraged by her father to play traditionally male sports of her time like soccer, boxing and wrestling to help the limited mobility in her legs caused by the disease, adding to her already rambunctious personality. Frida attended school during the Mexican Revolution, an influential time that would later show in her paintings. When she was teenager, she was left crippled after breaking several bones in a bus accident, and art became her catharsis as she recovered in a body cast. Up until her death at 47, about 25% of her 200 or so pieces were self-portraits telling the story of her internal pain and tumultuous love affair with two-time husband and artist Diego Rivera. As one of the resistant women of history, her work has heralded her as one of the highest-valued woman artists in art history.

Rosa Parks

Resistant Women of History

By vehemently refusing move from her bus seat designated in an area for white passengers, Montgomery, Alabama’s Rosa Parks was a prominent starting domino in the Civil Rights Movement. Rebelling against the judgment of her skin color resulted in her arrest and a guilty verdict for violating segregation laws at her trial, catapulting a bus boycott movement that would unite people of color in their demand for respect and equal rights. She fought alongside a growing support group consisting of E.D. Nixon of the NAACP and Martin Luther King Jr. and other prominent rising African-American activists. The bus boycott rallied at least 40,000 commuters in its 381-day span, eventually resulting in the lifting of segregation in public transportation. This was a tipping point for equal rights among African-Americans throughout the country. As one of the resistant women of history, Rosa Parks would go on to stand up for her race and gender throughout her lifetime, a legacy that’s fiercely continued in today’s unbalanced society. These women, resistant women of history, possess the common denominators of heartfelt rebellion, bravery and drive to express passions within their souls in the face of violence, criticism and male-dominated cultures. They’ve inspired cycles of new (s)heroes today who continue to poetically and gracefully demand balanced respect as capable women. We thank you and honor you not just for Women's History Month but every day of the year!!

wh

Trauma and Ethnic Mental Health

Trauma and ethnic mental health

Trauma and ethnic mental health

There's a direct connection between trauma and ethnic mental health. There's no getting around it or sugar-coating the facts. Due to racial trauma, the mental health among communities of color continues to decline due to a very specific social injustice that still exists in America.

Racial trauma, which is similar to post-traumatic stress, is a psychological trend experienced by black and brown people of America. Likely factors leading to this type of race-related stress include re-experiencing historic trauma, experiencing or witnessing current racially-motivated violence or being within a community of poverty that perpetuates institutional racism.

Traumatic interactions can happen directly, as victims of racial violence and discrimination or even by continuously witnessing it in public. Trauma and ethnic mental health can be related to experiencing police brutality (real or on TV/social media) living in institutional poverty, being subjected to stereotypes and hate crimes. Results of such experiences as the victim or the witness, include depression, anxiety, paranoia and anger management difficulties. Mental health professionals have also found that racial trauma also perpetuates the divide among races that creates the problem in the first place.

Declining mental health

Many experiencing racial trauma tend to have a distrust against the oppressing race, a hyper-vigilance to threats and even the attribution of their own race as reason to be failures. Such distress over a lifetime often leads to mood disorders that bolster unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or violence, further leading to problems with addiction and crime. This creates a direct correlation between trauma and ethnic mental health. The trauma can behave as a trap across generations that only further internalizes the self-hate broiling among the traumatized on the sole factor of their race creating additional historic trauma. Feelings of hopelessness discourage any break in the cycle of trauma and failure among people of color. Although the effects of racism are identifiable in people of color, the racial trauma has yet to be recognized as a diagnostic label in the mental health community.

Advocate and Educate

Responding to hate crimes and racial acts of violence with a mission of advocacy is one way to feel accomplished and purposeful. Rather than demonstrate apathy and acceptance that its “just the way it is” for a person of color, standing up in the name of one’s race scrapes away at the self-hatred that can contribute to certain mood disorders and unhealthy coping. Feeling a sense of contribution instills a feeling of empowerment, and with empowerment comes a will to live and serve in the name of race and humanity as a whole.

Educating yourself and others about the detriments of racial trauma also reassures the confidence-building necessary to face these social injustices while spreading awareness. Teaching children, relatives and friends builds an advocacy network that slowly creates the dent toward breaking down the infrastructure of racial unfairness. For many of these groups, obstacles like poverty and lack of insurance prevent access to professional help, yet the act of educating to promote awareness may spark a desire to seek healing through online communities. There are also several online sources from professional organizations that educate on how ethnic inequality adversely affects our society, and ways to address the issue.

Self-Empowerment

Evolving the societal consciousness as a whole could still take several lifetimes before racism against ethnic groups is obsolete, there are ways to cope with this form of PTSD. Committing to self-care and obtaining professional help with the self-awareness of racial trauma can also act as a weapon against racism.

Whether it’s building a Mental Health Toolbox, speaking with a licensed social worker specializing on race-related stress or learning the process of proactive coping, equipping yourself with the right strategies can ensure the mental evolution necessary for a productive life.

There are also areas of racism exposure that can controlled, as to not perpetuate the trauma within oneself. Disconnecting from certain explosive social media pages, limiting the consumption of news and redirecting energy from getting angry into self-care can be helpful in combating race-related stress.

If you are a person of color, do you feel that ethnic inequality has contributed to any mental health imbalances within yourself? If so, how are you coping now? I’m interested in hearing how you’ve learned to evolve from discrimination based on your race and community, with the intention to help others in your very unique situation. I’m always available for a 30-minute consultation!

wh

Building the Mental Health Toolbox

Building the Mental Health Toolbox

As with all tasks, having the proper tools empowers one to be prepared, knowledgeable and ultimately successful. When thinking of mental health and developing one's sense of well-being there is no difference. Building a Mental Health Toolbox is essential to the positive evolution of one's mental health overall. If we all adapt this mindset, then we're all under construction. So grab your hardhat and let's get busy! 

Understand the diagnostic label

Whether it’s a therapist, a close friend or even your own research that finally attributes your troubles to a mental illness or disorder of sorts, it can be a challenge to integrate the diagnostic label as a part of your existence. Although many find relief in finally understanding why a happy life has been so hard to come by, accepting the new label may be as difficult as adjusting to a third arm or sixth toe. And that’s okay. That extension of your persona has likely been in existence for a large part of your life. A new name for a characteristic of your psyche doesn’t make you less of a human and most certainly doesn’t define you. A diagnostic label is meant to classify you by a set of observable traits to determine the treatment most suitable for you. But in no way is this meant to segregate all clients with one label as the exact same – each person is an individual with specific challenges, experiences and varying degrees of these traits. Every client living with anxiety, PTSD or depression is unique beyond the diagnostic label used in doctor and insurance offices across the country and its important that they are treated as such.

By embracing your label, you take the first step in acceptance of who you are, a key element of the self-love necessary to evolve. There is a possibility that you, or those close to you have subconsciously adopted a stereotype of certain labels, and working through the stigma can also sometimes be a part of learning how to utilize your mental health toolbox. Imagine yourself without the label and any of the characteristics that may have come of it. Would you be as strong of a person? Would your emotional intuition be as fine-tuned? Would your resilience be as elastic? Though you may feel that your label contributed to unpleasant experiences and traits, the silver lining is that you had several opportunities to develop important survival skills in the process. Now that you’ve arrived at the phase of your life to want to evolve from your mental problems, your subsequent emotional intelligence continues to stick around to catapult you through life’s never-ending challenges. Love yourself and embrace your label, because as troublesome as it’s been in the past, it has made you beautifully strong enough to take on this evolution.

Maintaining physical well-being

The body can act as a remote control for the mind with buttons for relaxation, mood boost, patience, energy and the list goes on, as both are directly linked. To maintain the well-being of your body is to ensure a balanced foundation for the mind to solve life’s challenges. Efforts into continuous well-being automatically propel the mind’s evolution, clarity and awareness, so it’s well worth the daily undertaking.

Sleep

A set bedtime with plenty of hours to sleep can begin the habitual process of physical well-being. Everyone’s needs for adequate rest vary, but 6-8 hours should be the daily minimum to ensure physical and mental health fitness. A good night’s rest goes beyond feeling refreshed in the morning, with benefits building up in your heart, weight and of course your mind. During those hours of shut-eye your brain is also working to remove mental waste, like the toxic byproducts that contribute to degenerative brain disorders. It’s also working hard to cement memories and new skills you may have learned (like learning to battle anxiety!) Refreshing rest also contributes to better emotional regulation, an essential within the Mental Health Toolbox.

Cognition, attention and decision-making is enhanced with the right amount of zzz’s, making life that much less challenging just by closing your eyes every night. Loving yourself means loving your body, and that can be as easy as cuddling up under your covers and drifting to dreamland. There is empowerment in pillows when it comes to evolution!

Healthy Nutrition

Once you’ve absorbed a solid amount of rest and the sun has begun tickling your skin with its first rays of Vitamin D, nourishment should be the next priority to feed the body, as it’s likely been more than 8 hours since your last meal! Regenerating with the right nutrition is just as important as rest, and making time for eating right impacts your energy and mood for the day. Taking a little bit of time each day to understand your body and adopting healthy eating habits adds another strengthening layer of physical well-being. A good rule of thumb is to remember that the Earth herself provides many of the nutrients you need to feel optimal, so it’s easier to differentiate from the processed, sugary, greasy weaknesses that slow your body’s flow.

Exercise and physical activity

Another essential tool in the Mental Health Toolbox is exercise. The daily challenges of stress can be immediately combated with weapons of feel-good hormones. These are generated with the physical demands of exercise, and it doesn’t take an expensive personal trainer to get the job done. If your life is too busy and working out is an intimidating schedule shift, take a step back and identify areas in your daily tasks that can easily convert into a mini cheat exercise. Something as simple as opting for the stairs at your office building, or a nice 15-minute stroll during lunch can make the difference in your brain boosting chemicals. Even squeezing in 10 squats in the bathroom stall every time you make a run to the loo can get the blood going. A 30, 15 or even 10-minute commitment to muscle movement beats hours-long mental drains that affect your mood, productivity and sense of well-being.

Life Balance

Understand that your mind and body are one, and the two constantly communicate to ensure optimal existence. The key is to learn the language of your physical self to establish ongoing well-being. Become aware and listen internally. One of the most effective tools in your toolbox is developing a healthy sense of balance in all areas of your life. The Wheel of Life is a great place to start!!

Healthy lifestyle choices

When making the conscious decision to prioritize mental health, what is your motivation? Taking a holistic approach to a mental evolution? Reducing your depression or anxiety? Feeling like life is worth living? Better relationships with your loved ones? Maintaining employment? The get-up-and-go reasoning varies, but it’s important to keep a list of your reasons in constant visibility to serve as a reminder in making healthy lifestyle choices daily. Your lifestyle choices are those that you make determining your life and behavior, with a direct association to your preferences and values. Your motivation to prioritize your mental health is a strong indicator of your values.

To make the right choices, you must take a step back and determine first the areas in which you recognize your self-love practices. Are you sleeping enough and eating well? Is your monthly gym membership going to good use and are the dog leashes constantly missing from their wall hooks? Then think to yourself, in which areas can your lifestyle decisions improve to better align with your values and motivation for improving your mental health? Here’s a quick quiz to get you thinking and reflecting on your lifestyle choices.

Once you see your results, an easy start to making better lifestyle choices is to make a list of the obvious not-so-great choices. Things like drinking excessively, eating fast food multiple times a day or going through a pack of cigarettes in 48 hours. You’ll find that integrating better habits like exercise and good rest make the removal of the bad list much easier, all while boosting your mood, health and progress toward a better lifestyle! Even more eye opening, as your bad list habits fade, so do your chances of chronic diseases like obesity, heart disease, cancer and many other conditions. That life balance that you’ve begun to work on will be an incredibly important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox.

A good way to structure your mental health maintenance is by relying on daily routines to keep these lifestyle choices in check. Aside from reinforcing good habits, they give you a sense of control that gradually makes these choices automatic. Just as your bad habits once required no effort, your new, healthy habits will become second nature! This further ensures longer bouts of mental stability refined and ready to tackle obstacles that perhaps once debilitated you.

Remember that learning to utilize the tools within your Mental Health Toolbox is a gradual process and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed but just don’t quit! Starting small is okay! Thankfully, good habits get stronger with each repetition, while the bad ones shrivel away with each neglected urge. Here are a few tricks to overcoming the challenges that sometimes come with learning new skills and retraining your brain.

Yoga

Science and personal experience can reinforce your faith in exercise, but one particular activity has begun to make a name for itself in the realm of mental health. Yoga, an ancient Indian practice integrating breathing techniques and postures has been associated with improved health and happiness. The practice promotes health throughout the body while reinforcing self-awareness, two of the most important tools in your Mental Health Toolbox for self-care.

Yoga is to the mind what cardio is to the body. From a mental health standpoint, yoga trains the brain circuits involved in stress response. Most people respond to stress with adrenaline and/or cortisol in the blood, which in turn create the rapid heartbeat, breath and other nervous system symptoms that we feel during stress. In a person who practices yoga regularly, the relaxation signal in the brain can be turned on by engaging in a pose to slow or even stop the stress response. This tool can then be used to counter stress on demand when combined with awareness, which is bolstered with the regular breathing and meditation techniques learned in yoga.

Regular yoga practice is a self-soothing ritual that promotes an ongoing relaxation and slowed thought process that inhibits anxiety and other negative feelings. Connecting the breath to the body via yoga also enhances the internal listening process with the body, so your mind is more in tune with your physical needs to stimulate consistent well-being. In addition, regular mindfulness practice is also a healthy way to release built-up emotional energy that tends to calcify and clog our efforts to mental health maintenance. By integrating yoga into your mental health routine, you ensure a regular cleansing that complements your self-care routine utilizing and important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. Try some of these easy poses to get the blood flowing!!

Brain cardio, grounding techniques and meditation

The beautiful unraveling of life happens in this very moment. Unfortunately, it’s easy for many of us to get entangled in past stress or worries of what lies ahead. The reality of present life moments is robbed by the thief of thoughts, holding our minds prisoners to invisible imaginations. Try to picture life as a tightrope with no net. It’s obvious that one would have to journey through with a carefully balanced, inch-by-inch forward progression to survive, right? Now think, how often are your eyes off the tightrope? How often are your letting the present moment slip away? Is your reality surviving?

To stay on the tightrope mindfulness is the star tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. It is a strategy that peels your identity from your thoughts, as your thoughts can sometimes be an unreliable source in the sphere of mental illness. With mindfulness, rather than be your thoughts, you are above them as their creator and observer. Your higher self goes beyond the mental noise that can sometimes overwhelm your body and soul. An easy way to remind yourself to slow the thoughts is to take a deep, long breath, then follow the next five to ten breaths thereafter. If you do this constantly, you may start noticing how often you actually hold your breath unconsciously when intense anxiety or PTSD thoughts start clouding the mind. Observing the breath helps brings you back to the present moment. Mindfulness and a healthy state of mind go hand in hand.

There are various techniques that promote and preserve this present-moment awareness. They are the basis of yoga and several other Eastern religions and spiritual practices. Grounding is a technique that helps to bring you out of the sea of thoughts and into the present moment reality. These are especially helpful in moments of stressful emotions and feelings. There are several skills you can try and regardless of your diagnostic label, each one has a different level of effectiveness so it’s important to try several before finding your present-moment solution. The great thing about grounding techniques is that they’re so easy they’re almost effortless, yet they work wonderfully by acting as a net to fish you out of the turbulence of thoughts that sweep you from the present.

Meditation, a regular practice of yoga, can be also be practiced independently as part of your mental health routine. It is the practice of focusing your attention on a single point of reference, oftentimes the breath. Some like to focus on a mantra or intention. Ultimately, it is a way to pull your mind out of the stream of thought and observe rather than follow for a set amount of time. This sort of focused mental training helps rewire the brain patterns of entangled thoughts that pull you from the present moment. By training yourself to observe, the mind begins to silence itself from these thoughts and you become present. Once the session is over, your ability to remain focused on the present in real-life becomes easier, and you begin to experience life on the paradigm of the now, as life should be lived. Meditation is a helpful tool for mental health because it not only reduces stress by hushing the mental noise, but such effectiveness has shown it to work against the progression of illnesses like depression and anxiety. Regular meditation practice can actually change your brain’s stress response to promote you’re the effectiveness of your Mental Health Toolbox.

So....what's next?

Now that you’ve been educated and empowered with your very own set of tools, you can take charge in your mental health journey by applying your own personal strategy to evolving into the best version of you. Remember, we're all under construction and need to constantly add new tools to our arsenal. I’d love to hear from you on how you’ve adapted this basic concept and made it your own! Subscribe and like my blog to stay up-to-date on future additions to the Mental Health Toolbox.

~wh

Teen Dating Violence and Mental Health

teen dating awareness

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Happily ever after---or not? It’s easy for our teens to become enamored with an idea that’s been told over and over again during story time and Disney movies for most of their childhood. What isn’t so easy for them, is to recognize that an unhealthy relationship may not quite be the puppy love story they believe. Teen dating violence and the shadows of mental health illness linger among victims as well as abusers.

Many types of abuse

Teen dating violence involves several types of abuse ranging from physical, emotional/psychological or even sexual. It can be delivered to the victim ever so subtly in the form of bullying, humiliation and jealousy, or it can be visibly obvious on their body or through their behaviors. Sadly, abusive relationships among teens is prevalent, occurring in 1 in 10 teens by way of physical or sexual violence. Even more frequent are the moments of verbal or emotional abuse. In other words, there’s a good chance your teen may have friends involved in teen dating violence or worse, be in an abusive relationship themselves.

Such violence, regardless of the degree of severity, negatively impacts overall mental health. When intimacy is confused with violent or abusive behavior, the seed of abuse and mental illness has likely been planted within the victim and most likely the abuser. The cycle will continue unless the problem is recognized and those negative seeds of intimacy are addressed. Ideally, prevention of teen dating violence is the first step, particularly by dealing with underlying mental health issues.

Why does it happen?

There are factors in a potential abuser's behavioral patterns that can increase the likelihood of teen dating violence which include depression, anxiety and other trauma symptoms. Instances of aggression towards others, the use of drugs or alcohol and being sexually active at a young age are also among those circumstances. Parents and peers involved in relationship violence also influence the probability of teen dating violence. And so, this continuous cycle creeps into its surroundings until the recognition and desire to evolve from it arises.

Some of the very same factors affect a potential victim’s risk of getting caught up in teen dating violence, shining light on the need to address depression, anxiety and trauma issues early on before intimate abuse degrades mental health further. If you see any of the signs of mental health illness (such as anxiety or depression) in your children, there are resources and steps you can take to help them evolve from a state of mind vulnerable to teen dating violence.

What can I do as a parent?

Proactively approaching the situation can steer a potential bad situation from ever happening at all. The most effective tool you have in this situation is communication! Next important step is to provide your teen with a safe place to talk with you. It doesn't happen over night but it will happen if you're consistent and patient. Finally, work on empowering your child or teen with problem solving skills. Even though you're the parent and can "demand" your teen stop seeing someone who is abusive, the reality is unless your teen understands why they are in an unhealthy relationship the possibility of them continuing to engage in those behaviors and relationships are very likely. Information is key!!With technology being so prevalent within our culture, many teens experience dating violence through their social media and electronic devices. Again, talk with your teen. When my kids were teens, I advised them that my job was to protect them and if I had a suspicion or concern regarding their electronics and/or social media that I would randomly ask to see their device content. Many might think this is an invasion of privacy, however, if you have the conversation and are forthright with that message then teens know what to expect and will respect the honest between you.

Last but not least...

At the core of this social problem is the quality of mental health among individuals and their families. It’s important to take a deep breath as a parent and know there are resources within reach to address concerns within your teen’s psyche, or even be proactive about maintaining balance. School counselors, social workers, and online education are all support reserves waiting to be tapped to ease the pressures of effective parenting. Learn more!! You’ll become empowered by educating yourself and asking for help! Don’t forget, I’m always available for more conversation if you have a concern. Contact me for your 30-minute complimentary consultation. Take care!

wh

Clear the Clutter, Clear the Mind

clutter

“Out with the Old and In with the New”

is commonly associated with ringing in the New Year.  It's sentiments can be strongly felt shortly after the holiday season, when stress, anxiety and depression can be higher than usual.  Before these feelings explode, work through them by starting with your surroundings; Clear the Clutter, Clear the Mind. Spring cleaning is not quite the same as clearing the clutter, but would serve the same purpose.  However, don’t put off 'til tomorrow, what you can do today to change your physical surroundings right now.  While also airing out the cobwebs of any mental clutter lingering in the back of your mind.

Turn on your favorite song, and turn it up!

We’ve had the holiday parties and sung carols.  We may have even been forced to listen to repeat holiday tunes.  Break out of that funk!  Sing, dance and start to get the vibe.  Then you can release tension thru keeping your beat! Physical activity and music stimulate the brain. By putting a new perspective on your living room, or even office space, you may find it easier to muddle through an uneasy task.  Your outlook may change towards a task you weren't looking forward to doing, or even make that coffee meeting with a new contract client you’ve been aspiring to get a more positive moment.

We have more than physical clutter, but what to do when you have sentimental items versus functional items?

Taking down the tree immediately after the New Year, or sooner will allow the space to be reoccupied or redecorated.  Show off a new item or clean up an existing furniture piece to put in it's place.  The result will freshen your perspective, your day, and uplift your spirits. What about any broken or non-working knick-knacks that don’t match with the rest of your space?  They’re hard to throw out when having a memory or promise to take good care of that item attached to it. Take a picture and make a collage or upload them to a digital frame. You keep the memories but reduce the clutter! You may need to reason, did your great aunts’ sister-in-laws friend hand craft the scarf collecting dust under that stack of books and CDs; if so what is more important, cleaning the dust or the integrity of the scarf?  Let’s state the fact that maybe the stack of books hasn’t been read, and now there is enough dust to plant a tree. Books and music are online and digital now.  This doesn’t dun the importance of the book.  Donating to your local library can save space and others can also benefit from your generosity.  Leaving the scarf to find a new home under your favorite crystal bowl, or tucked into the memory trunk to save for the next generation will clear the dust and spruce up the space.

That’s just one small step to mental health success.

Maybe, while focusing on the scarf, your mind received a boost of endorphin, lifting your emotions to a more positive state sparking inspiration and creativity in other areas of your life, or even just in that room.  Imagine how it will feel to enjoy that room after clearing out what was not functional, and finding a new home in your space for the sentimental?  My favorite sentimental items are photos, and even those can overtake a space.  I’ve begun scanning into digital images, and returning originals of distant family members to their next of kin; what a joy it brings to them, as a result, I find joy in it as well. Doing this may provide positive stimulation in your mind, thus allowing you to have a renewed perspective in problem-solving or life difficulties.  When you start to feel in control of the clutter surrounding yourself, you can jump on the wagon and take control in other areas of your mental health that you might have dead-ended on before.

Don’t stop with the living room!  Make your office or cubicle space into a more inviting area and promote your productivity.

Depending on the situation, this may not be the best place to jam your tunes.  Try wireless earbuds if you have them; or play your favorite song in your mind.  You can be your own personal concert.  Focusing to remember the words, or tapping your heart to the beat.  There’s a concert in you that no one can lower the volume to! Start with post-its; they cover up other clutter that may be hiding on the back corner of your desk.  Organizing your work duties with a calendar or spiral notebook is great.  However, go digital when you can.  You'll have one less thing to clutter your corner of the office floor.  Oh, and of course, empty out that inbox!

There are many things to look forward to in the new year,

Little things like a different spin on an old space can help you take a deep breath and tackle whatever issues you may be facing in life by changing the space where you spend most of your time. Kudos for a job well done.  I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation to talk about how to move forward so here’s to the New Year, and New Approach with Holistic Mental Health.  Let us together EDUCATE each other, EMPOWER one another, and EVOLVE together!

wh

Self-Discovery Month!!

“Who in the world am I?Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

So May has been deemed "self-discovery month" which is phenomenal but as I always say..."why do important things just get considered for a day, week or month?" Self-discovery should happen every single day!! It's what keeps us on the straight and narrow. I often work with many of my clients in completing a Personal Mission Statement (PMS) which helps in developing a life direction...whatever that direction may be!! PMS help us to assess if the choices we're making are going to help us achieve our mission of if those choices deter us. It can be something as simple as a word, a phrase or a complete paragraph. It doesn't matter!! As long as you think it through in developing your statement that's all that really matters. A great place to start is completing an inventory of self.

There's lots of good stuff out here on the web to help you get started with your self-discovery. One of the books I've read and keep on hand to utilize with my clients is Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and there's an awesome workbook to accompany the read. There's also a teenage version with workbook as well that I've utilized within a group setting with noticeable results. If you don't like to read, I have some comprehensive exercises that will get you started under the resources tab.

Writing your PMS down makes it real!! If it's just clinking around in your head you're less apt to put it into practice. Talk with those around you that you trust most to get an outside perspective of yourself. Clarify and define who you are by examining your habits, attitudes and beliefs. Don't forget to look at your behaviors as well. We can say all day that we have a specific belief but if we're doing the complete opposite it nulls that belief completely!! So don't allow your life to float around in the wind like a leaf. Take action and write your Personal Mission Statement! I can help you get started! Contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. You’re in control of your mental wellness journey!

Your beliefs become your thoughts! Your thoughts become your words! Your words become your actions! Your actions become your habits! Your habits become your values! Your values become your destiny!

~~Ghandi

Empower, Educate, Evolve