Self-care is more than a day at the spa!

Although self-care continues to be a huge buzz word as well as a trending social media hashtag, it’s much more than selfies at the spa getting a mani and pedi with the girls. It’s so much more! Self-care is a commitment to self. It’s a pledge to make every single day to yourself. Self-care is part of a daily plan of accountability. Self-care is the ultimate act of true love! There’s nothing more important than to invest in self!

After doing some reflecting, I had to come to terms with the fact that even though I try, I’m not always intentional with my self-care. As much as I talk about it, I have to follow up with action. Considering I give to others, I have to be consistent about how I’m filling up my cup.

Here’s the Self-Care Agreement I’ve created between my present and future self:

1. Self-care is not selfish.

2. Self-care is a natural and standard part of my daily life to maintain an overall sense of health, wellness and well-being.

3. Self-care requires me to be intentional and active with a specific set of activities as well as self-awareness that requires me to hold myself accountable. I will act, track, acknowledge, reflect and act again to maintain a cycle of self-care.

4. Self-care can contribute to me being a healthier version of myself. Self-care can help with the reduction or elimination of chronic illness.

5. Self-care empowers me to be the agent of my own health and wellness utilizing all tools available to me including both Eastern and Western concepts of medicine. I am my own healer.

6. Self-care provides a direct personal benefit but also benefits my family, circle and community. I am responsible for my personal health and wellness to minimize and/or reduce the extra stress that chronic illness places within the healthcare system of society.

7. Self-care presents an opportunity not only for me but extends to all societal systems to provide a strong foundation to promote the need for resources, programs, lifestyles and ideologies that support the practice of caring for self around the world.

Now that I’ve clearly outlined what self-care is, how do I set realistic goals and subsequent actions to keep the agreement I’ve made between my today me and my future me. I use the five pillars of health to help guide me create a plan that is sustainable for me to maintain.

MOVEMENT

I’ve had a bitter war with this area of my life for a long, long time. One of the best friends of anxiety is being in a suspended state of internal chaos—a state of immobility. I have a lot of experience with this space because toxic relationships feed the beast of fear.

Things to consider when creating a plan of exercise and movement:

1. What are your ultimate goals?
   Are you trying to achieve a certain weight or challenge yourself to a minimum amount of activity per day. Make a plan and set yourself up for success.

2. Understand and know yourself!
   I discovered long ago I am not a gym rat! I dislike the monotony of working on any gym machine. So instead I opt for outdoor activities when I can. I do my best to be in nature! What brings you joy? What do you enjoy doing? What have you used in the past that has worked and been successful for you?

3. Utilize the resources you presently have.
   Don’t go into debt for a thousand-dollar machine that you’ll ultimately use as a towel rack. No need to purchase a gym membership if you don’t enjoy the gym. Do you like to use weights or body resistance? Do you enjoy solo or group activities?

4. When are you most energetic?
   Again, set yourself up for success by planning your daily movement during the time of day when you’re literally going to feel the most energized to actually get it done. Do you have energy in the morning, mid-day or in the evening?

5. Actually plan it out!
   Make a commitment to self and put it on your calendar or whatever device you use to plan your life, time and activities. Make it concrete and real. Hold yourself accountable.

 FOOD

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “A moment on your lips is a lifetime on your hips.” This has come true for me! My younger self could eat whatever the heck she wanted with no immediate issues or repercussions. Not to mention it was nothing to basically starve myself for a week to shed a few unwanted pounds. Sugar has always been my nemesis. But my midlife self is paying the price for her ignorant attitude towards food.

Understand that all areas of life are interconnected so emotional eating is very real for many including myself. My today self sees food only as a mechanism of fuel for my body. Don’t get me wrong, I still get pleasure from eating certain things (usually sweets) but I have lots more intention behind what I feed myself on a daily basis rather than stuffing my mouth when my emotions are elevated.

Here are some things to consider:

1. Pay attention to your body when you eat. Do you get bloated or sleepy after certain foods? What foods give you energy? Are you paying attention to portion size?

2. Understand what the body needs to be healthy. There’s a science behind nutrition and what the body requires to work at an optimum level. Supplement when necessary.

3. Life is about balance and so is eating!!

STRESS MANAGEMENT

First and foremost it is so important to understand that stress is a natural and healthy part of life. Stress is a built-in survival mechanism to keep us alive and the human species going. What’s not natural on the other hand is allowing stress to manifest into anxiety which is exactly what happens when we’re not effective at stress management. Many of us for an abundance of reasons did not get that training as a child and now here we are stuck in a loop of debilitating anxiety.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to self is the gift of managing stress before it gets out of control. There’s much more to this practice but here’s some highlights:

1. Live in the moment. Learn the skill of being in the right now. Stop putting the focus on what happened or what might happen. Focus on what’s happening right this moment.

2. Develop stress-relieving habits. Figure out what helps you to relax. What hobbies do you enjoy? What music speaks to your soul?.

3. Learn to assertively communicate. Being able to express yourself to others in a way that is healthy is absolutely priceless. Don’t engage in conflict unless it means growth for you. Learn that it’s okay to walk away from a conversation or a person who no longer brings you joy.

4. Let go of being perfect. We’re taught from an early age to do and be the best! Just be the best version of you.

5. Control is an illusion. We can only control one person….my individual self. There is no other control.

SLEEP

I’m learning more and more about the power of restorative sleep. I took this for granted in my younger decades using the erroneous adage of “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” to keep me going and going and going. My today self is thinking WTF were you doing? It was nothing for me to be up “kickin it” until 3 or 4 in the morning to turn around and get up a couple of hours later to get my kids to school and go to work for eight hours. If I could tell my younger self anything it would be to sit down, be still and get your rest girlfriend each and every night!

The science of sleep in connection with our overall sense of well-being has grown immensely in the last decade. Sleep is meant to sluff off the waste that is created on a biochemical level within the body and brain throughout the day. The brain rids itself of metabolic trash during sleep. Toxins are removed to eliminate build up and ultimately the development of chronic health issues later down the road. The connection between poor blood sugar management and the risk of developing Alzheimer’s is overwhelming! Guess what happens when we don’t take the trash out?

Suggestions for better sleep:

1. Sleep hygiene aka sleep etiquette is essential for a good night’s rest!

2. Create a routine to get your body in the habit of a predictable wake-sleep routine. Your mental health will thank you!

3. Include magnesium rich foods in your diet or take a supplement.

4. Manage stress and practice mindfulness.
   

COMMUNITY

If we’ve learned nothing else in the era of COVID is that our community, our peeps, our family, our circle is essential to feeling connected  within the mind-body-spirit triad. Human beings are meant to be social. Living in isolation all the time is a slow death. An integral part of self-care is to have a community of like-minded people who support and love YOU!

Some things to consider in your relationships:

Respect for self and others is key. Is there mutual respect?

1. Is there healthy communication? Do you feel safe expressing yourself? Do you feel heard and validated?

2. Are you encouraged and supported through your high and low moments?

3. Are you able to compromise so that both of you are getting your needs met?

4. Feeling safe is nonnegotiable.

5. Are you able to be autonomous and set healthy boundaries?

FINAL THOUGHTS…

Don’t get caught up in the frenzy of trends. Be intentional with your time, energy and resources to take care of yourself. I wanted to celebrate International Self-Care Day by taking time to sit with myself and commit to the process of actual self-care which is more than a spa day. I’m always available for additional conversation so take advantage of my free 30-minute consultation if you have additional questions or thoughts. Take care!

wh 

Resources:

https://isfglobal.org/international-self-care-day/

https://commonwealthherbs.com/

https://mindbodyfitness.us/2017/10/20/the-five-pillars-of-wellness/

Life Purpose Inventory: Questions to Get You Thinking

Why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing?

Why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing?

These questions—and their related variations—are eternal. They are also essential. Life is tricky and it can get heavy. If you’re not careful, it can drag you down and keep you down. Having purpose is what empowers you. It gets you off the canvas and back in the fight.

Why Do You Need to Know Your Life Purpose?

Some people may declare that they have enough purpose in the everyday life they were given. Thus, it’s helpful to not see the phrase “your life purpose” as part of a pressurized competition. Making the effort to discover your life purpose is a powerful step towards creating a new starting point for yourself. If you are at point A and your purpose is waiting for you at point B, that trip has to start somewhere at some time.

Thinking about your life purpose leads you to an intentional point of departure. From there, your mission begins. You rise each morning with purpose. You close your eyes each night knowing you’ve done the work.

6 Questions to Get You Thinking about Your Life Purpose

1. How Important is Income to Me?

It goes without saying that we all need to make money, pay bills, and create some kind of financial safety net. But different paths lead you towards different economic likelihoods. Hence, you need to seriously assess your materialistic drive. This is not a judgment. Rather, it’s an observation that will profoundly shape your path.

2. What Drives and Energizes Me?

As mentioned above, purpose is about rising each morning with a sense of mission. Do you bolt out of bed, raring to go? Or do you drag yourself into work each day? Your mind and body answer this question for you, do your best to pay attention. Tune into yourself and get a better sense of what lights you up.

3. What is Worth Making Sacrifices For?

Except in very rare instances, there are no free lunches. Everything comes with a cost. There are many trade-offs in life. This is why you must know what purpose is worth the sacrifices you may be required to make.

4. Who Are My Role Models?

Innovation and uniqueness are irreplaceable. But this doesn’t mean we have to re-invent the proverbial wheel. Seek out those who have blazed similar paths and learn from them. Emulate them. Benefit from the journey they’ve already taken. Success leaves clues. You are wise to follow them.

5. Who Do I Want to Help?

Couple this question with “How can I help them?” There is no success that does not involve gratitude and giving back. And nothing reflects “purpose” like actively reaching out to make a difference in someone’s life. Consider this question to be foundational in your search for purpose.

6. How Much Am I Willing to Evolve, Grow, and Learn?

Finding your life purpose initially involves a willingness to grow. But there’s another factor that doesn’t get enough attention. Determining your purpose is not necessarily a linear path. The entire journey is a process. How willing are you to question your current situation, challenge your thoughts and make real changes?

Bonus Question: What if You Can’t “Discover” Your Life Purpose?

Fortunately, there’s no rule that says you can’t ask for some help in finding answers.

Your life, in many ways, is a product of those you spend time with. The people you trust and bond with help shape you and your path. Working with a counselor is a fine example of this process.

A few therapy sessions might provide fertile ground for new ideas and perspectives. Brainstorming and exploring in a safe encouraging environment is a powerful way to learn more about yourself and your potential. Contact me soon for a consultation. Together we can seek out your life purpose.

wh

Mentally healthy in the Workplace

mentally healthy in the workplace

Are you mentally healthy in the workplace?

It’s 7:56am, and a silver mini-van smashes into the rear-end of your car, sending you off the lane and into the highway shoulder. Within 5 loud seconds, you open your eyes to the dusty remnants of deployed airbags and honking horns surrounding you. You’re okay, but your car isn’t, and the Monday morning traffic has manifested into an impending time-consuming insurance mess, some trips to the chiropractor for whiplash, and a week-long rental car commitment. Not to mention, your boss and co-workers are awaiting your arrival to present your quarterly report. This is a very valid reason to be late. This is even a valid reason to miss work entirely that day, and perhaps the next few. Emergencies happen, and there’s an acceptance for sudden circumstances (medical or family related mostly) that are allowed to stand in the way of promptness and attendance in the 9 to 5 routine.

Now, let’s change the scenario a bit.

It’s 7:56am, and your heart begins to palpitate. Your chest heaves in and out heavily as you begin to hyperventilate, and the room feels like it’s spinning. That morning’s anxiety has built up from the fear of your upcoming office presentation manifested into panic, sending your body into complete fight-or-flight mode. The attack consumes your whole body. You open your eyes to find yourself curled up in bed after a brief blackout. You begin sobbing uncontrollably. Your neck is tense--in fact, your entire body is tense, your mascara is smeared across your face and your shirt is stained from the coffee spilling as you frantically searched to hold on to something for balance as the panic attack hit you. Your boss and co-workers are sitting in the conference room awaiting your arrival, wondering why you haven’t arrived to complete your presentation. Eyes frequently darting at the clock.  Why does it feel like you need to make up a lie about the reason for your lateness or even possibly your absence for the day? 

Mental Health and Stigma

One in five Americans suffers from some type of mental health disorder, so the likelihood of a co-worker experiencing rough times due to mental illness is not far-fetched. In fact, two out of five employees have been bullied at work. So now the odds are even greater that you will directly experience a mental health episode at work or see one of your coworkers struggling. Are you mentally healthy in the workplace? Why is there more acceptance and "forgiveness" for a car accident than for chronic mental illness? We all have to work towards eliminating the stigma! Although the stigma surrounding mental health illness has begun to slowly melt away in the workplace with insurance programs offering services through EAP (employee assistance programs) as well as new hire orientation programs educating on the subject, there is still a lot of work to do!! Reporting a panic attack to the boss creates much more anxiety than one related to a highway car accident or the baby being sick. Admitting mental health issues runs the risk of being cast in a “crazy” light leaving oneself open for judgement despite the irrelevance to job performance in most cases. Acknowledging such a taboo provides an opportunity to be treated differently (in a negative, outcast type of way) after coming out about an issue, which in itself be the domino that impacts how they feel in an office environment. This negative treatment eventually affecting work performance as well as adding to the mental health issue. It could make for a very unhealthy and unproductive cycle for all involved!

There is hope!

Thankfully, as science and education expand, acceptance follows, and mental health awareness throughout offices in America do show signs of progress. Recently, an employee openly expressed in her automatic email response that she would be taking time off to focus on her mental health. Her boss responded with gratitude, commending her for her confidence and openness on the subject that he felt reminded the rest of the employees to practice the same type of self-care. These types of reactions and support systems are extremely helpful in normalizing mental health in the workplace because for those of us who suffer, we know full well that issues stemming from mental health illness can be as debilitating is the worst case of the flu, traffic accident or any other family emergency deemed acceptable. Life is hard. Even for those who do not have the obstacle of chronic mental health issues, juggling everyday tasks, routines, demands surrounding the mind, body and health is a constant struggle. Throw in the added weight of mental instability and life does not get any easier. Work-life balance, specifically an emphasis on self-care, is imperative to maintaining a stable track mentally, physically and spiritually. Committing to daily practices like those found in your Mental Health Toolbox are just as important as setting your alarm clock or brushing your teeth. It is so necessary to stay in charge of your mental health journey and continue empowering yourself to be the best version of you that is possible. Reach your highest potential without allowing a diagnosis prevent you from anything less. Invest in yourself, empower yourself and education and you WILL evolve to greatness.  You can be mentally healthy in the workplace! I'm always available to chat. Don’t forget I have a 30-minute complimentary consultation available. I believe in you!

wh

All About CBD

All about CBD

What is CBD?

Now that "weed" day has come and gone, let's learn all about CBD! Cannabidiols or more commonly referred to as CBD is an oil derived from marijuana or industrial hemp which is considered at this time a dietary supplement. CBD lacks THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) that is found in marijuana therefore we don't get that "high" feeling when utilized.

Your body needs CBD!

What many don't know is that the human body has a system called the Endocannibinoid system that requires CBD to properly function in a healthy and effective way. Because there is no THC influence, the medicinal effects of CBD work on a grander scale. Neurological receptors within the human brain interact with the CBD and can provide relief within many aspects of mental and physical wellness.  

CBD and mental health!

Anxiety is prevalent among at least 40 million Americans, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. In a recent CBD oil survey, more than 50% anxiety sufferers who opted for the tincture completely did away with medications to treat the disorder. Studies revealed that using CBD oil for traumatic or stressful experiences can assist with controlling emotional responses associated with anxiety such as restlessness, palpitations, muscle tension and stomach butterflies. The reduction of stress for military veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder was shown in more recent studies. CBD oil has shown to be an effective combatant of depression, affecting almost 20 million Americans today. Animal studies have shown that the oil has a regulating effect on the receptors for serotonin. In depression, the serotonin levels are reduced, so stable control thanks to CBD effects would have a positive effect on mood.

CBD and physical health!

The idea that cannabis relieves pain is ages old, however scientific data has now proven it’s promise for relief. CBD oil has a numbing effect in the brain’s pathways for pain while reducing inflammation. It’s a common antidote for those suffering from chronic pain and even cancer patients receiving chemotherapy treatments. In addition to reducing the severity of pain, the use of cannabis also improved sleeping patterns.  The power of inflammation reduction goes beyond pain relief. Asthma sufferers also hail from the effects of the plant as it’s been proved to help with the dilation of bronchial tubes, making it easier to breathe.  For cancer patients, CBD oil acts as more than just a pain reliever however. Lab results have shown that the cannabinoids from the extract blast cancer cells through apoptosis (natural cell death). It helps prevent the reproduction of cancer cells while preventing new blood cells from becoming tumors. When CBD oil is running through the body, it creates a sort of protective wall that prevents cancer cells from spreading and penetrating into healthy tissue. Is CBD the cure for cancer? I don't know, however it is safe to say that sufferers gain from several beneficial effects by utilizing CBD.As the scientific research with cannabinoids expands, evidence has shined some light on cases of patients with epilepsy relying on CBD oil for seizure relief. The compound still has a long way to go, but in a medical track where the effectiveness of current seizure medications is not very high, CBD oil holds a promising position in healthcare with a low risk of side effects.

All About CBD!

So, how do you use it? There are a variety of ways to integrate CBD oil into your mental and/or physical remedies, most commonly in oil form that can be mixed into foods and drinks. Capsules are available, as are sprays and edibles. Many people enjoy cooking with CBG while some use bath bombs for it's beneficial relief.

Most studies have shown that CBD oil is a well-tolerated remedy, with no significant side effects on vital signs or mood, unless there were signs of improvement. At worst, the feeling of being tired was reported most often, with occasional changes in appetite or weight. An adequate amount of studies have not yet weighed out the risks of CBD oil on the long-term. Introducing CBD oil into your life is definitely a great way to take charge of your mental health and in some cases, your physical health journey however it is recommended to discuss with a qualified healthcare practitioner before use.

Do your own research and see if CBD is another tool you can put in your Mental Health Toolbox. I personally use Lazarus Naturals products. If you’d like to talk more about CBD and it’s impact on your overall well-being, I’d love to chat. Contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. Take care!

wh

Begin with sleep

begin with sleep

Begin with Sleep

As our everyday surroundings become inundated with advertisements to medicinally tackle mental illness, it’s easy to forget that many of the answers to well-being are free, easily accessible and natural. One of them is as comfortable as a just-washed down comforter, bamboo sheets and a mountain of pillows. Looking for overall wellness? Begin with sleep!!Among the most basic of survival functions, restful sleep can double as a weapon of mass destruction against mental illness. It comes down to the same biochemical targets aimed at by the pharmaceutical industries, only sleep costs nothing and negative side effects are obsolete.

Why is sleep so important

Circadian rhythm, or as many of us know it, the ‘body clock’ is the compass within us that tells our body when to sleep, wake up and eat, among many other basic physiological processes. How does it know? Sunlight, darkness, temperature and other biological changes within the body signal to the brain that it’s time for rest, food energy, and wakefulness with very precise timing. Think of a car and the signals you see on your dashboard when it’s time to change the oil, refill for gas or stop for a cool down due to overheating. If those signals are ignored, you can end up broken down on the side of the road with a thirsty engine or even motor damage. The human body’s functions work similarly. If the circadian rhythm is disrupted when our bodies don’t follow that internal clock, our mental health and balance are thrown off, which can be a major factor that leads to mood disorders, immune system breakdowns and physical ailments. To keep the body functioning at optimal level is to begin with sleep.

What happens when we sleep

While we sleep, although or bodies are almost at a 100% standstill, our minds and physiological systems are hard at work performing various functions involving the removal of toxins, reparation of cells, consolidation of memory and processing of information from the previous day. If these functions are not wholly implemented with adequate sleep, the following day often results in cranky moods, coffee dependence, impulsive decision-making, fuzzy concentration, decreased creativity and even a weakened immune system to name a few. The accumulation of these sleepless byproducts in turn begins to build a platform for more permanent mental damage that can lead to illness like depression or anxiety. If there is a history of past trauma, obtaining good restorative sleep may be near impossible. Even worse, these mental illnesses only perpetuate the sleep disruption, sending one further down the black hole of a choppy circadian rhythm, making it harder to get back on the right track.

Being proactive is key

The protective barrier of sleep is a must within our daily routines if we aim to be healthy and balanced individuals. Of course 7-8 hours of daily sleep won’t be an instant fix for any mental health disorders however it’s a definite factor that should be included in a balanced life. With adequate sleep should come proper nutrition and exercise with the added bells and whistles of mindfulness, grounding and meditation you’ve got a proactive health routine. Going proactive with your health helps prevent prescriptions, doctor and hospital visits which are typically factors of a reactive health routine. It’s recommended to stop any ill-health symptoms before they start!

First steps...

The remedies to a healthy balance of mind, body and soul can be as simple as intentionally making the choice to sleep adequately. Of course, changes in life-long habits may not come easy, and popping a pill may sound more convenient. However, understanding and digesting the long-term benefits of a clean, nourished and rested body should be enough to reject the medicine cabinet and into a more holistic balance for a better quality of life. Making daily use of your Mental Health Toolbox and taking the initiative to seek help with implementing healthy habits are great first steps in solidifying a consistent balance and healthy mental and physical state-of-being. I'm here to support your journey. Begin with sleep!!

Holiday gatherings don't have to be stressful!

Holiday gatherings and Stress

Family gatherings can be stressful and I mean to the max! Why is that? We should be looking forward to time with our friends and loved ones to slow down, catch up and be in the moment but sometimes it doesn’t quite happen that way. When I think of family gatherings as a young child the number of plates at the table was low. We had small intimate gatherings with a handful of my mom’s friends that included low maintenance food preparation and lots of laughter. Times were different and not so stressful. It’s not like that anymore. Things are complicated. Families are complicated. Family tradition has been lost. People don’t sit down and eat at the table together anymore! So here's some ideas that will hopefully make your holiday gatherings more enjoyable.

Tips to help!

Be open-minded!! Cultural norms and traditions look different to different people. With multi-cultural families growing, things may look different than what you're used to. What you do may not be what someone else does and vice versa but that's okay! Go with the flow and be open to new dishes, flavors, customs, music and conversation. Relax and be in the moment.

Leave your expectations at the door!! Many times we go into a situation with an already developed expectation of how things are going to play out. Just stop! This goes back to being open-minded. If you go go into an event with the perception that the night is going to be negative and horrible guess what? It will be! So smile and be positive. You may have the time of your life!

If you're hosting-Enlist help! One of the most tiring aspects of get togethers is the preparation. You don't have to do it all yourself!! You can ask others to assist you with the expense, preparation and clean-up but they won't know you need help unless you ask! Plan ahead and delegate. You may even consider investing in a service to help with cleaning your home before and after the big day.

Prepare for the kids! When in public, one of the most annoying and frustrating things is to hear a child whine or cry because a parent didn't plan ahead to keep them content and occupied. Whether you're attending or hosting, make sure you plan for the little people. When my kids were small, I used to carry a playpen and walker in my trunk so I could contain and control where they were at all times so I didn't have to carry them around for the night. Have kid-friendly snacks ready to go as well as plastic flatware to minimize the possibility of breakage. With the slew of electronics available, having entertainment is a no brainer! If you're hosting, carve out space that can be kid-friendly. You could even pay a neighborhood teen to be the designated sitter for a couple of hours. Mom and dad throw the jammies in the bag to change the little ones before heading home so when they fall asleep in the car it's an easy transition to bed.

Be in the moment! Probably the most important thing to remember is to be in the moment and enjoy your time with friends and family. Laugh and smile ALOT. Remember when a large group of different people get together it can get loud and messy. Be patient, be kind and breathe!

Holiday gatherings are stressful by nature but you can control the extent of that stress. Here's some additional tips and suggestions to keep your anxiety at bay. Enjoy your time together and make some memories to last a lifetime. Whatever stress or anxiety you may feel it's important to remember that those feelings are temporary and will pass. You could be anywhere in the world so enjoy the choice you made and eat an extra piece of chocolate pie for me!

I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation if you’d like to talk.

~~Wendy