The Benefits of Whole Person Healing

Let’s connect!

When someone reaches out to me for therapeutic services the very first thing we do is connect and talk!! Taking time to have a consultation is essential so I can learn more about the person, discover what they want to accomplish with therapy and if we’re a good fit to work together. I ask lots of questions so I can understand what is happening not just with their mental health but within their life! This consultation time allows someone to get to know me as well! In fact, I have some suggestions on questions you should ask in your therapy consultation that you can find here. This is the beginning phase of whole person healing.

Mental health support requires consideration of all aspects of who a person is and what’s happening in their life. This is extremely relevant to the process. I inquire about quality of sleep, water intake, work schedules and much much more. But why would water, sleep and schedules be important for mental health treatment. Let me tell you!!

I work within a Whole Person Framework. This means I take all aspects of a person’s life into consideration as I collaborate with the client to develop a treatment plan with specific goals that the client has established. What are these different aspects and why are they important?

Emotional Wellness
People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. There is an ability to successfully cope and manage life stressors. Emotional reactivity is minimal which reduces conflict and contributes to better quality relationships.

Physical Wellness
We’ve all heard more than once that physical activity is essential to an improved overall quality of life. Regular and consistent physical activity can have immediate and long-term health benefits. Lots of feel-good chemicals are released in the brain as well as the reduction of overall stress and anxiety.

Spiritual Wellness
At some point, we all try and figure out the meaning of life. We’re looking for “the point of it all” type of answers. Most want to be connected to a feeling of belonging as we look to a higher power of some kind. Understanding our values and beliefs acts as a compass that leads us to live what we believe through our actions in everyday life.

Intellectual Wellness
Curiosity is important to motivate each of us to try new things, develop a better understanding of self as well as within our interpersonal relationships and the world around us. Having a desire to learn helps us to be more well-rounded and contribute to the environment we live in.

Social Wellness
Human beings are social beings. We’ve come to understand that the stronger support system that a person is invested in that they experience a longer life, have a greater feeling of contentment, and enjoy better quality of life. Healthy relationships contribute to overall improved physical health.

Environmental Wellness
The place in which we live dictates the quality of life we will have. This includes within the family, community and globally. Adequate food, water and shelter is the foundation for each person to live.

Occupational Wellness
Feeling independent, valued and having a purpose are essential to an overall sense of well-being and health.

Financial Wellness
Having the resources to take care of individual personal life needs requires having an income of some sort as well as a general understanding of how to manage money affairs. Financial independence is critical for maintaining a sense of independence and autonomy.

Using this visual of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, let’s dig deeper into why whole person healing is essential. If a person is struggling to meet their physical and physiological needs they are basically in survival mode. Nothing else matters but survival so my job is to direct the dialogue and provide resources for this person to solve their issues regarding those basic needs. To add an extra layer, if someone has experienced trauma and not processed those experiences the brain might continue to interpret being in survival mode and working on anything else will be next to impossible.

When I meet with a new client and begin to peel back the different areas of their life and discover they are struggling to meet those bottom level needs, there is an aha moment for the client when I describe this as survival mode. It’s impossible to do work on anxiety, self-esteem or even trauma when the brain is in survival mode. Basic needs have to be met and I focus on getting clients somewhat stabilized prior to digging in too deep regarding issues and goals.

Benefits of Whole Person Healing include:

• Improved interpersonal relationships

• More frequent use of healthy communication

• Better work-life balance

• Self-discovery and personal growth

• Increased ability to regulate emotions and stress management

• More consistent use of self-care behaviors

• Improved physical wellness

• Increased self-awareness

The interconnection of life

As you know and experience on a daily basis, each of these realms is very interconnected to one another. Think about this. There are eight people standing on a trampoline. If everyone is being still then there’s balance and harmony but what happens when one of those people begins to jump? Now there’s imbalance and chaos. If only one person moves everyone on the trampoline feels it! That’s exactly what happens within our life as well. When one area of our life is jolted and impacted by life events there is a ripple effect to other areas within our lives. When clients begin to connect those dots we call them aha moments!

As a therapist that practices whole person healing, understanding each area of a person’s life is essential for me to provide the support, resources and dialogue that is necessary for individual growth to happen. So when I ask about your water intake, sleep quality and work schedule, now you understand why!

Growth never stops! I encourage my clients to consistently evaluate these areas of their lives because knowing what isn’t working means you’re one step closer to understanding how to find the joy we all desire within our day-to-day lives! I practice what I teach and am constantly looking at my life trampoline to see what needs some balancing.

If you’d like to talk more about this concept, I’d love to chat with you in a complimentary 30-minute consultation to figure out if my practice and philosophies are a good fit for you. Click here or email me at info@wendyhawkins.net. Wishing you great things in life. Take care!!

wh

Bipolar Disorder and your teenager: Seven effective ways for you to empower them

Teenagers are known for being a bit moody and unstable. After all, there’s a reason that few of us would want to go back and relive our teenage years. But teens with bipolar disorder are dealing with challenges beyond those of their peers. Most parents experience something like relief when they learn their teen has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, because it finally gives some validation to the struggles in their home. But the diagnosis is only a first step. Helping your teen manage their challenges can make life more peaceful for all of you.

How to Help Your Bipolar Teen Manage Life

1. Assemble a Good Medical Team

Your teen needs help to manage bipolar disorder. But you can’t be the one who does it all. Seek out the best medical experts you can afford. Ask for recommendations for psychiatrists, psychologists, and even dietitians. Keep the phone numbers of all your teen’s medical team in an easily-accessible place.

2. Encourage Sleep Habits

You don’t have as much control over your teenager’s sleep habits as you did when they were toddlers. But good sleep habits (what the experts call “sleep hygiene”) will help your teen to have more control over their moods and their mental health. Involve them in the decision as much as possible. Help enforce a bedtime with parental control tools that limit internet or smartphone access after a certain hour. Wake them up at the same time every morning, even on the weekends.

3. Set Some Healthy Limits

Setting limits with a bipolar teen is harder than with the average teen. You may be walking on eggshells as it is. The last thing you want to do is upset your teen and trigger an episode of extreme behavior. But you still have the right to set reasonable limits like curfews and to expect them to do chores. These responsibilities and limits will actually help your teen, even if they object.

4. Help Them Find a Support System

Having bipolar disorder is difficult for anyone. But it’s especially difficult for teens, who already face social challenges and a desire to fit in with peers. Help your teen find a support system of peers who understand the issues they face. Your teen’s psychiatrist may offer a support group or may provide a referral to one.

5. Talk to School Officials

Bipolar disorder has a major impact on daily functioning. For teens, that will show up most often at school. Your teen needs you to help advocate for them at their school. Ask to meet with a school counselor and the principal and explain the issues affecting them. Ask for specific ways the school can accommodate your child, such as allowing more time for assignments during episodes of illness. You may need to create an Individualized Education Program (IEP) with school staff, depending on the severity of your teen’s illness.

6. Encourage Artistic Expression

A lot of teens enjoy various forms of the arts. Your teen might enjoy playing music, writing poetry, or drawing anime characters in a sketchbook. It doesn’t matter what type of artistic expression they choose. Expressing feelings through art can be especially helpful for teens with bipolar disorder. Creative work can be a safe way to process overwhelming emotions.

7. Help Them Manage Medications

Most people find it difficult to have to take multiple medications each day. Teens are no exception. Medication compliance is one of the biggest challenges for people with bipolar disorder. This can be an even bigger issue for teens, who just want to fit in with their peers. Medication side effects can also be unpleasant, especially at first. Make sure that they take their medication at the same time every day to give them the best chance at stability. You may want to set reminders in their phone for the times when they need to take their meds. Having a teen with bipolar disorder can be challenging at times. But with a little bit of help, you can become their best advocate and encourage them to stay well.

Most importantly take care of yourself!! You can’t be a supportive and patient parent if you’re struggling with your own sense of well-being. Contact me and we can discuss in more detail what that looks like. Don’t forget—I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation. Take care!

wh

Is There a Connection Between Childhood Emotional Neglect and Adult PTSD?

childhood emotional neglect

Time and age share the same forward trajectory. Though it might seem that neither time nor age carries a significant enough relevance to help you live free from the past. Furthermore, your past experiences could haunt you or impact you in unexpected ways. And you might not even realize it. The way you feel or react could catch you off guard. You might even have trouble identifying why you feel the way you do. Many people experiencing symptoms from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) have that problem. If that's you, here's how your past and PTSD may be connected.

Who Is the Young Trauma Victim?

Childhood emotional neglect sounds like a very serious and intense experience. And it is. The thing about it is that it happens in little bits at a time, and it can be very subtle. Many people imagine neglect as withholding food or water from a child. While it certainly can be failing to provide the basics, it can also be a lot more. For instance, emotional neglect also includes not giving a child appropriate emotional support. This could mean failing to answer a child's cry for help, ignoring them when they were talking, or not validating their feelings. Overly critical parents or the absent parent also fail to provide emotional support. Many victims of emotional neglect often weren't hugged or shown physical affection. One of the most significant forms of childhood emotional neglect is the failure to form secure attachments. For one reason or another, a parent or caregiver isn't emotionally available for the child. In turn, that child goes about life with a shattered sense of trust because they weren't able to form a healthy attachment to the parent or caregiver.

When Flashbacks Debilitate

Those who face emotional neglect in their childhood often have developmental struggles. It can impact you so greatly that you may not have physically or cognitively developed properly. On the other hand, you may have appeared perfectly normal on the outside all the way to adulthood. It's on the inside where you most likely feel abnormal. But, eventually, these unseen effects slowly begin to overflow into other areas. Certain situations, turn of phrases, or even smells could trigger what are known as "flashbacks." You may feel like you did as a child during these flashback moments. Feelings of worthlessness or anger are common ways people with PTSD react when experiencing those flashbacks. Moreover, flashbacks have a way of interfering with your relationships, too. When you weren't able to form an attachment to your parents or caregiver, it conditioned you to approach all other relationships the same way. That's why, throughout your life, you may have always felt distant or detached from people. In short, flashbacks are a key element in identifying PTSD and many survivors of childhood emotional neglect experience them.

How the Trickle Qualifies as PTSD

Professionals used to believe that a diagnosis of PTSD was only fitting for those individuals who had an intense emotional response to the traumatic event. This meant that a person had to go through a jolting and extreme event to trigger PTSD symptoms. But childhood neglect is more like a trickle or continuous little drops. Kind of like a faucet that never turns off. Eventually, it overtakes you like a flood, but it doesn't happen all at once. Yet, at the same time, victims of childhood emotional neglect display many of the same symptoms as those experiencing PTSD—avoidance, a negative outlook of the world, and feeling detached from other people. As mentioned before, flashbacks are also a key symptom. Today in the field of mental health care, the ongoing trickle of childhood emotional neglect now qualifies as a cause for PTSD. In fact, the two are connected in a cause and effect sort of relationship that can have a an impact for many years. If you'd like to learn more about the connection between children emotional neglect and PTSD, please contact me for your 30-minute complimentary consultation. Together, we can uncover the hidden causes for why you feel the way you do and find a way to empower you to reclaim your life.

wh

How You Can Experience Natural Anxiety Relief with Magnesium

natural-anxiety-relief

It seems everyone complains that there’s a “new miracle cure” every week. Well, this may be true according to our trending news feeds and click-bait articles. But, in reality, our bodies know what works.

If it’s natural anxiety relief you seek, you don’t need a “miracle cure.” Your path towards peace of mind may start with magnesium.

What is Magnesium and Why Is It So Important for Anxiety?

Magnesium is a powerful calming dietary mineral. It boasts a wide range of positive effects on your mind and body. It is necessary in over 600 metabolic functions and has been called “nature’s Valium.” Magnesium offers natural anxiety relief in many ways for example:

• Activates important neurotransmitters to allow the brain to better relax

• Increases your brain’s ability to heal itself

• Removes heavy metals from your system

• Reduces both stress and the presence of stress hormones

• Reduces bodily inflammation, including brain inflammation, which not only causes anxiety but depression and memory loss

Unfortunately, modern life, which tends to be heavy on highly refined foods, has led to widespread magnesium deficiency. This deficiency allows anxiety the opportunity to creep in. Sometimes we don't even realize it's happened.

Who Needs Natural Anxiety Relief?

Anxiety is much more than feeling nervous, edgy, or shy. It's a common diagnosis presenting symptoms like:

• A chronic sense of doom, panic, tension, and being in danger

• Uncontrollable worry

• Avoidance of anything or anyone who we fear may trigger us

• Loss of focus, inability to concentrate

• Physical symptoms like rapid breathing, sleep disturbance, digestive issues, increased heart rate, weakness, sweating, or trembling

It’s easy to see why anyone experiencing such symptoms would seek a non-invasive and natural form of relief like magnesium.

4 Ways Magnesium Can Offer Natural Anxiety Relief

natural anxiety relief

1. Make changes to your eating habits

The great news here is that you can eat your way to magnesium help. Here are some of the top food sources for magnesium: black beans, almonds, cashews, spinach, soy milk, shredded wheat cereal, sunflower, squash and pumpkin seeds, tempeh, avocado, and peanut butter. Many ways to obtain magnesium through daily nutrition.

2. Incorporate supplements

Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxer so when you're looking for supplements be mindful of the type on the health food store shelf you pick up. You may encounter a wide range of chemistry-sounding words attached to it. Magnesium carbonate, glycinate, citrate, malate, taurate, and more are available. Make sure to find a variation that is easily absorbed and easy on the stomach and bowels. Educate yourself so you can properly care for yourself.

3. Stabilize Blood Sugar

A hypoglycemic attack may occur when the brain does not get enough of its primary fuel course, glucose. This leads to low blood sugar and the subsequent release of stored sugar. The end result is a sensation, not unlike a panic attack. Magnesium supplements have been found to prevent hypoglycemia and hence, reduce anxiety.

natural-anxiety-relief

4. Relieve Depression

The numbers, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, connecting anxiety and depression are staggering.

• The number of those with a major depressive disorder who are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? A whopping 85 percent!

• The number of those with an anxiety disorder who experience depression? An even larger 90 percent!

Magnesium’s depression relief properties play an added role in addressing anxiety. By raising serotonin levels (a mood-boosting neurotransmitter), magnesium is found to be as effective as antidepressants—often as soon as a week following introduction.

How to Separate Fact From Fiction

Of course, there’s much more to non-pharmaceutical healing than natural anxiety relief. No one expects you to master the nuances overnight. That’s where an experienced, well-rounded guide comes in handy. Rather than relying on what may be nutritional fake news, you can go to the source. Thus, working with a therapist who embraces a wide range of modalities is crucial. Everybody and everybody is different. A holistic-minded practitioner treats the person, not just the condition. Are you ready to connect the dots between how you feel and your nutritional needs? Please contact me soon for your 30-minute free consultation. I am here to support your journey!!

wh

Mentally healthy in the Workplace

mentally healthy in the workplace

Are you mentally healthy in the workplace?

It’s 7:56am, and a silver mini-van smashes into the rear-end of your car, sending you off the lane and into the highway shoulder. Within 5 loud seconds, you open your eyes to the dusty remnants of deployed airbags and honking horns surrounding you. You’re okay, but your car isn’t, and the Monday morning traffic has manifested into an impending time-consuming insurance mess, some trips to the chiropractor for whiplash, and a week-long rental car commitment. Not to mention, your boss and co-workers are awaiting your arrival to present your quarterly report. This is a very valid reason to be late. This is even a valid reason to miss work entirely that day, and perhaps the next few. Emergencies happen, and there’s an acceptance for sudden circumstances (medical or family related mostly) that are allowed to stand in the way of promptness and attendance in the 9 to 5 routine.

Now, let’s change the scenario a bit.

It’s 7:56am, and your heart begins to palpitate. Your chest heaves in and out heavily as you begin to hyperventilate, and the room feels like it’s spinning. That morning’s anxiety has built up from the fear of your upcoming office presentation manifested into panic, sending your body into complete fight-or-flight mode. The attack consumes your whole body. You open your eyes to find yourself curled up in bed after a brief blackout. You begin sobbing uncontrollably. Your neck is tense--in fact, your entire body is tense, your mascara is smeared across your face and your shirt is stained from the coffee spilling as you frantically searched to hold on to something for balance as the panic attack hit you. Your boss and co-workers are sitting in the conference room awaiting your arrival, wondering why you haven’t arrived to complete your presentation. Eyes frequently darting at the clock.  Why does it feel like you need to make up a lie about the reason for your lateness or even possibly your absence for the day? 

Mental Health and Stigma

One in five Americans suffers from some type of mental health disorder, so the likelihood of a co-worker experiencing rough times due to mental illness is not far-fetched. In fact, two out of five employees have been bullied at work. So now the odds are even greater that you will directly experience a mental health episode at work or see one of your coworkers struggling. Are you mentally healthy in the workplace? Why is there more acceptance and "forgiveness" for a car accident than for chronic mental illness? We all have to work towards eliminating the stigma! Although the stigma surrounding mental health illness has begun to slowly melt away in the workplace with insurance programs offering services through EAP (employee assistance programs) as well as new hire orientation programs educating on the subject, there is still a lot of work to do!! Reporting a panic attack to the boss creates much more anxiety than one related to a highway car accident or the baby being sick. Admitting mental health issues runs the risk of being cast in a “crazy” light leaving oneself open for judgement despite the irrelevance to job performance in most cases. Acknowledging such a taboo provides an opportunity to be treated differently (in a negative, outcast type of way) after coming out about an issue, which in itself be the domino that impacts how they feel in an office environment. This negative treatment eventually affecting work performance as well as adding to the mental health issue. It could make for a very unhealthy and unproductive cycle for all involved!

There is hope!

Thankfully, as science and education expand, acceptance follows, and mental health awareness throughout offices in America do show signs of progress. Recently, an employee openly expressed in her automatic email response that she would be taking time off to focus on her mental health. Her boss responded with gratitude, commending her for her confidence and openness on the subject that he felt reminded the rest of the employees to practice the same type of self-care. These types of reactions and support systems are extremely helpful in normalizing mental health in the workplace because for those of us who suffer, we know full well that issues stemming from mental health illness can be as debilitating is the worst case of the flu, traffic accident or any other family emergency deemed acceptable. Life is hard. Even for those who do not have the obstacle of chronic mental health issues, juggling everyday tasks, routines, demands surrounding the mind, body and health is a constant struggle. Throw in the added weight of mental instability and life does not get any easier. Work-life balance, specifically an emphasis on self-care, is imperative to maintaining a stable track mentally, physically and spiritually. Committing to daily practices like those found in your Mental Health Toolbox are just as important as setting your alarm clock or brushing your teeth. It is so necessary to stay in charge of your mental health journey and continue empowering yourself to be the best version of you that is possible. Reach your highest potential without allowing a diagnosis prevent you from anything less. Invest in yourself, empower yourself and education and you WILL evolve to greatness.  You can be mentally healthy in the workplace! I'm always available to chat. Don’t forget I have a 30-minute complimentary consultation available. I believe in you!

wh

Self-injury awareness

self-injury awareness

Self-injury awareness

Sixteen year old Allison** has been cutting her arms for years. She has many scars that tell a story of self-hate and loathing due to past sexual abuse. She was violated as a young girl by her sister's boyfriend. When she experiences intense emotions she feels she can't tolerate, Allison** takes any object she can find--a razor blade, thumbtack, paperclip just to name a few--and slowly drags the object across her skin. She tell me that the intense emotional pain she was feeling is now drowned out by the immediate physical pain from the tearing of her skin. She feels in control now because she has the power to stop or intensify the physical pain. Allison** is not an anomaly. In fact, she is one in two million people who are actively self-harming also known as self-injury. March is self-injury awareness month. Keep reading for more information.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is defined as the intentional injury against oneself due to an inability to effectively manage intense emotions.  Physical injury can include the slicing, scraping and/or burning of one’s own skin, excessive pulling of hair, head-banging against a wall or hard object, breaking of bones and several other damaging acts aimed at hurting oneself. Although these behaviors are demonstrated by multiple demographics, the more common sufferers of self-injury tend to be adolescent females, victims of abuse and individuals with mood disorders and lacking skills in expression and emotional regulation. In the U.S., there are at least 2 million reported self-injury cases each year. Clinically, this type of behavior is called Non-Suicidal Self Injury (NSSI).  

Why self-harm?

The sight of blood, the stinging of pain, the sound of a skull hitting the wall is, for many, the only instant distraction from intense and often stressful emotions and situations. If the skills to process and reasonably handle a difficult situation are not instilled within an individual, the act of self-injury acts as an immediate silencer from the alarms screaming inside the brain that are associated with intense stress. In some cases, self-mutilation is an act of punishment, or even a way to snap out of emotional numbness associated with depression or other mental illnesses. Regardless of the reasoning behind coping with stressful stimulant, the relief is temporary and unfortunately, self-injury serves only to perpetuate the underlying trigger that caused it. Understanding the why helps bring understanding to self-injury awareness.

Many times, self-injury breeds and continues the cycle of negative feelings as an individual is painfully reminded of the wounds or bruising during the physical healing process. Shame, guilt and even reliving the initial stressor that led to the act only further buries them into sorrow, oftentimes creating a new trigger cycle and more suffering. Mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, trauma and other emotional challenges are at the root of the self-injury entanglement.

Myths around self-injury

Information from self-harmers reveal that there are several myths surrounding the subject. The idea that individuals do it for attention or are ‘suicidal’ are not always true. Reading into the voices of some of these sufferers helps to better understand their coping mechanism. In the end, the act of hurting oneself is a desperate attempt to express dark emotions through physical pain rather than endure the internal pain and emotional agony within. Although this may be a common coping mechanism to handle stress for individuals with mental illness, it is not physically, mentally or spiritually healthy. The practice erodes the potential of circumstances improving, but thankfully there are ways to evolve the habit and replace with more effective cathartic ways of regulating stress and intense feelings. The first step in addressing any problem is to identify and name it as such.

Getting through self-injury

Mindfulness is an effective mental health tool in confronting the afflictions of the mind. There are several alternative mental road maps to take once that trigger is identified, and thankfully, many of them are within arm’s reach! Seeking support, be it confiding in friends, family or even a therapist can also provide relief and begin to teach methods that override the urges to self harm.  Therapy can also help build other social skills such as confidence and trust, feelings of empowerment and self-control and the potential for the evolution of mental well-being. I am here to support you and welcome a 30-minute free consultation.

wh

Allison** continues to struggle with effectively managing her emotional distress but she has made great progress. She hasn't self-harmed in months which is a great achievement!! She uses less and less self-injury and has learned healthy coping skills to manage her intense emotions. We continue to see each other and I'll continue to support her emotional growth.

**Client name changed to protect her identity

Resources

1-800-DON'T-CUT – More info on self-injury

*http://www.selfinjury.com – Referrals for therapists and tips for how to stop.

*1-800-273-TALK – A 24-hour crisis hotline if you're about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation.

*To Write Love On Her Arms (http://www.TWLOHA.com) - A non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

*1-800-SUICIDE – Hotline for people contemplating suicide.

*1-800-334-HELP – Self Injury Foundation's 24-hour national crisis line.

*1-800-799-SAFE – Domestic violence hotline.

*1-877-332-7333 – Real Help For Teens' help line.

Begin with sleep

begin with sleep

Begin with Sleep

As our everyday surroundings become inundated with advertisements to medicinally tackle mental illness, it’s easy to forget that many of the answers to well-being are free, easily accessible and natural. One of them is as comfortable as a just-washed down comforter, bamboo sheets and a mountain of pillows. Looking for overall wellness? Begin with sleep!!Among the most basic of survival functions, restful sleep can double as a weapon of mass destruction against mental illness. It comes down to the same biochemical targets aimed at by the pharmaceutical industries, only sleep costs nothing and negative side effects are obsolete.

Why is sleep so important

Circadian rhythm, or as many of us know it, the ‘body clock’ is the compass within us that tells our body when to sleep, wake up and eat, among many other basic physiological processes. How does it know? Sunlight, darkness, temperature and other biological changes within the body signal to the brain that it’s time for rest, food energy, and wakefulness with very precise timing. Think of a car and the signals you see on your dashboard when it’s time to change the oil, refill for gas or stop for a cool down due to overheating. If those signals are ignored, you can end up broken down on the side of the road with a thirsty engine or even motor damage. The human body’s functions work similarly. If the circadian rhythm is disrupted when our bodies don’t follow that internal clock, our mental health and balance are thrown off, which can be a major factor that leads to mood disorders, immune system breakdowns and physical ailments. To keep the body functioning at optimal level is to begin with sleep.

What happens when we sleep

While we sleep, although or bodies are almost at a 100% standstill, our minds and physiological systems are hard at work performing various functions involving the removal of toxins, reparation of cells, consolidation of memory and processing of information from the previous day. If these functions are not wholly implemented with adequate sleep, the following day often results in cranky moods, coffee dependence, impulsive decision-making, fuzzy concentration, decreased creativity and even a weakened immune system to name a few. The accumulation of these sleepless byproducts in turn begins to build a platform for more permanent mental damage that can lead to illness like depression or anxiety. If there is a history of past trauma, obtaining good restorative sleep may be near impossible. Even worse, these mental illnesses only perpetuate the sleep disruption, sending one further down the black hole of a choppy circadian rhythm, making it harder to get back on the right track.

Being proactive is key

The protective barrier of sleep is a must within our daily routines if we aim to be healthy and balanced individuals. Of course 7-8 hours of daily sleep won’t be an instant fix for any mental health disorders however it’s a definite factor that should be included in a balanced life. With adequate sleep should come proper nutrition and exercise with the added bells and whistles of mindfulness, grounding and meditation you’ve got a proactive health routine. Going proactive with your health helps prevent prescriptions, doctor and hospital visits which are typically factors of a reactive health routine. It’s recommended to stop any ill-health symptoms before they start!

First steps...

The remedies to a healthy balance of mind, body and soul can be as simple as intentionally making the choice to sleep adequately. Of course, changes in life-long habits may not come easy, and popping a pill may sound more convenient. However, understanding and digesting the long-term benefits of a clean, nourished and rested body should be enough to reject the medicine cabinet and into a more holistic balance for a better quality of life. Making daily use of your Mental Health Toolbox and taking the initiative to seek help with implementing healthy habits are great first steps in solidifying a consistent balance and healthy mental and physical state-of-being. I'm here to support your journey. Begin with sleep!!

Building the Mental Health Toolbox

Building the Mental Health Toolbox

As with all tasks, having the proper tools empowers one to be prepared, knowledgeable and ultimately successful. When thinking of mental health and developing one's sense of well-being there is no difference. Building a Mental Health Toolbox is essential to the positive evolution of one's mental health overall. If we all adapt this mindset, then we're all under construction. So grab your hardhat and let's get busy! 

Understand the diagnostic label

Whether it’s a therapist, a close friend or even your own research that finally attributes your troubles to a mental illness or disorder of sorts, it can be a challenge to integrate the diagnostic label as a part of your existence. Although many find relief in finally understanding why a happy life has been so hard to come by, accepting the new label may be as difficult as adjusting to a third arm or sixth toe. And that’s okay. That extension of your persona has likely been in existence for a large part of your life. A new name for a characteristic of your psyche doesn’t make you less of a human and most certainly doesn’t define you. A diagnostic label is meant to classify you by a set of observable traits to determine the treatment most suitable for you. But in no way is this meant to segregate all clients with one label as the exact same – each person is an individual with specific challenges, experiences and varying degrees of these traits. Every client living with anxiety, PTSD or depression is unique beyond the diagnostic label used in doctor and insurance offices across the country and its important that they are treated as such.

By embracing your label, you take the first step in acceptance of who you are, a key element of the self-love necessary to evolve. There is a possibility that you, or those close to you have subconsciously adopted a stereotype of certain labels, and working through the stigma can also sometimes be a part of learning how to utilize your mental health toolbox. Imagine yourself without the label and any of the characteristics that may have come of it. Would you be as strong of a person? Would your emotional intuition be as fine-tuned? Would your resilience be as elastic? Though you may feel that your label contributed to unpleasant experiences and traits, the silver lining is that you had several opportunities to develop important survival skills in the process. Now that you’ve arrived at the phase of your life to want to evolve from your mental problems, your subsequent emotional intelligence continues to stick around to catapult you through life’s never-ending challenges. Love yourself and embrace your label, because as troublesome as it’s been in the past, it has made you beautifully strong enough to take on this evolution.

Maintaining physical well-being

The body can act as a remote control for the mind with buttons for relaxation, mood boost, patience, energy and the list goes on, as both are directly linked. To maintain the well-being of your body is to ensure a balanced foundation for the mind to solve life’s challenges. Efforts into continuous well-being automatically propel the mind’s evolution, clarity and awareness, so it’s well worth the daily undertaking.

Sleep

A set bedtime with plenty of hours to sleep can begin the habitual process of physical well-being. Everyone’s needs for adequate rest vary, but 6-8 hours should be the daily minimum to ensure physical and mental health fitness. A good night’s rest goes beyond feeling refreshed in the morning, with benefits building up in your heart, weight and of course your mind. During those hours of shut-eye your brain is also working to remove mental waste, like the toxic byproducts that contribute to degenerative brain disorders. It’s also working hard to cement memories and new skills you may have learned (like learning to battle anxiety!) Refreshing rest also contributes to better emotional regulation, an essential within the Mental Health Toolbox.

Cognition, attention and decision-making is enhanced with the right amount of zzz’s, making life that much less challenging just by closing your eyes every night. Loving yourself means loving your body, and that can be as easy as cuddling up under your covers and drifting to dreamland. There is empowerment in pillows when it comes to evolution!

Healthy Nutrition

Once you’ve absorbed a solid amount of rest and the sun has begun tickling your skin with its first rays of Vitamin D, nourishment should be the next priority to feed the body, as it’s likely been more than 8 hours since your last meal! Regenerating with the right nutrition is just as important as rest, and making time for eating right impacts your energy and mood for the day. Taking a little bit of time each day to understand your body and adopting healthy eating habits adds another strengthening layer of physical well-being. A good rule of thumb is to remember that the Earth herself provides many of the nutrients you need to feel optimal, so it’s easier to differentiate from the processed, sugary, greasy weaknesses that slow your body’s flow.

Exercise and physical activity

Another essential tool in the Mental Health Toolbox is exercise. The daily challenges of stress can be immediately combated with weapons of feel-good hormones. These are generated with the physical demands of exercise, and it doesn’t take an expensive personal trainer to get the job done. If your life is too busy and working out is an intimidating schedule shift, take a step back and identify areas in your daily tasks that can easily convert into a mini cheat exercise. Something as simple as opting for the stairs at your office building, or a nice 15-minute stroll during lunch can make the difference in your brain boosting chemicals. Even squeezing in 10 squats in the bathroom stall every time you make a run to the loo can get the blood going. A 30, 15 or even 10-minute commitment to muscle movement beats hours-long mental drains that affect your mood, productivity and sense of well-being.

Life Balance

Understand that your mind and body are one, and the two constantly communicate to ensure optimal existence. The key is to learn the language of your physical self to establish ongoing well-being. Become aware and listen internally. One of the most effective tools in your toolbox is developing a healthy sense of balance in all areas of your life. The Wheel of Life is a great place to start!!

Healthy lifestyle choices

When making the conscious decision to prioritize mental health, what is your motivation? Taking a holistic approach to a mental evolution? Reducing your depression or anxiety? Feeling like life is worth living? Better relationships with your loved ones? Maintaining employment? The get-up-and-go reasoning varies, but it’s important to keep a list of your reasons in constant visibility to serve as a reminder in making healthy lifestyle choices daily. Your lifestyle choices are those that you make determining your life and behavior, with a direct association to your preferences and values. Your motivation to prioritize your mental health is a strong indicator of your values.

To make the right choices, you must take a step back and determine first the areas in which you recognize your self-love practices. Are you sleeping enough and eating well? Is your monthly gym membership going to good use and are the dog leashes constantly missing from their wall hooks? Then think to yourself, in which areas can your lifestyle decisions improve to better align with your values and motivation for improving your mental health? Here’s a quick quiz to get you thinking and reflecting on your lifestyle choices.

Once you see your results, an easy start to making better lifestyle choices is to make a list of the obvious not-so-great choices. Things like drinking excessively, eating fast food multiple times a day or going through a pack of cigarettes in 48 hours. You’ll find that integrating better habits like exercise and good rest make the removal of the bad list much easier, all while boosting your mood, health and progress toward a better lifestyle! Even more eye opening, as your bad list habits fade, so do your chances of chronic diseases like obesity, heart disease, cancer and many other conditions. That life balance that you’ve begun to work on will be an incredibly important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox.

A good way to structure your mental health maintenance is by relying on daily routines to keep these lifestyle choices in check. Aside from reinforcing good habits, they give you a sense of control that gradually makes these choices automatic. Just as your bad habits once required no effort, your new, healthy habits will become second nature! This further ensures longer bouts of mental stability refined and ready to tackle obstacles that perhaps once debilitated you.

Remember that learning to utilize the tools within your Mental Health Toolbox is a gradual process and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed but just don’t quit! Starting small is okay! Thankfully, good habits get stronger with each repetition, while the bad ones shrivel away with each neglected urge. Here are a few tricks to overcoming the challenges that sometimes come with learning new skills and retraining your brain.

Yoga

Science and personal experience can reinforce your faith in exercise, but one particular activity has begun to make a name for itself in the realm of mental health. Yoga, an ancient Indian practice integrating breathing techniques and postures has been associated with improved health and happiness. The practice promotes health throughout the body while reinforcing self-awareness, two of the most important tools in your Mental Health Toolbox for self-care.

Yoga is to the mind what cardio is to the body. From a mental health standpoint, yoga trains the brain circuits involved in stress response. Most people respond to stress with adrenaline and/or cortisol in the blood, which in turn create the rapid heartbeat, breath and other nervous system symptoms that we feel during stress. In a person who practices yoga regularly, the relaxation signal in the brain can be turned on by engaging in a pose to slow or even stop the stress response. This tool can then be used to counter stress on demand when combined with awareness, which is bolstered with the regular breathing and meditation techniques learned in yoga.

Regular yoga practice is a self-soothing ritual that promotes an ongoing relaxation and slowed thought process that inhibits anxiety and other negative feelings. Connecting the breath to the body via yoga also enhances the internal listening process with the body, so your mind is more in tune with your physical needs to stimulate consistent well-being. In addition, regular mindfulness practice is also a healthy way to release built-up emotional energy that tends to calcify and clog our efforts to mental health maintenance. By integrating yoga into your mental health routine, you ensure a regular cleansing that complements your self-care routine utilizing and important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. Try some of these easy poses to get the blood flowing!!

Brain cardio, grounding techniques and meditation

The beautiful unraveling of life happens in this very moment. Unfortunately, it’s easy for many of us to get entangled in past stress or worries of what lies ahead. The reality of present life moments is robbed by the thief of thoughts, holding our minds prisoners to invisible imaginations. Try to picture life as a tightrope with no net. It’s obvious that one would have to journey through with a carefully balanced, inch-by-inch forward progression to survive, right? Now think, how often are your eyes off the tightrope? How often are your letting the present moment slip away? Is your reality surviving?

To stay on the tightrope mindfulness is the star tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. It is a strategy that peels your identity from your thoughts, as your thoughts can sometimes be an unreliable source in the sphere of mental illness. With mindfulness, rather than be your thoughts, you are above them as their creator and observer. Your higher self goes beyond the mental noise that can sometimes overwhelm your body and soul. An easy way to remind yourself to slow the thoughts is to take a deep, long breath, then follow the next five to ten breaths thereafter. If you do this constantly, you may start noticing how often you actually hold your breath unconsciously when intense anxiety or PTSD thoughts start clouding the mind. Observing the breath helps brings you back to the present moment. Mindfulness and a healthy state of mind go hand in hand.

There are various techniques that promote and preserve this present-moment awareness. They are the basis of yoga and several other Eastern religions and spiritual practices. Grounding is a technique that helps to bring you out of the sea of thoughts and into the present moment reality. These are especially helpful in moments of stressful emotions and feelings. There are several skills you can try and regardless of your diagnostic label, each one has a different level of effectiveness so it’s important to try several before finding your present-moment solution. The great thing about grounding techniques is that they’re so easy they’re almost effortless, yet they work wonderfully by acting as a net to fish you out of the turbulence of thoughts that sweep you from the present.

Meditation, a regular practice of yoga, can be also be practiced independently as part of your mental health routine. It is the practice of focusing your attention on a single point of reference, oftentimes the breath. Some like to focus on a mantra or intention. Ultimately, it is a way to pull your mind out of the stream of thought and observe rather than follow for a set amount of time. This sort of focused mental training helps rewire the brain patterns of entangled thoughts that pull you from the present moment. By training yourself to observe, the mind begins to silence itself from these thoughts and you become present. Once the session is over, your ability to remain focused on the present in real-life becomes easier, and you begin to experience life on the paradigm of the now, as life should be lived. Meditation is a helpful tool for mental health because it not only reduces stress by hushing the mental noise, but such effectiveness has shown it to work against the progression of illnesses like depression and anxiety. Regular meditation practice can actually change your brain’s stress response to promote you’re the effectiveness of your Mental Health Toolbox.

So....what's next?

Now that you’ve been educated and empowered with your very own set of tools, you can take charge in your mental health journey by applying your own personal strategy to evolving into the best version of you. Remember, we're all under construction and need to constantly add new tools to our arsenal. I’d love to hear from you on how you’ve adapted this basic concept and made it your own! Subscribe and like my blog to stay up-to-date on future additions to the Mental Health Toolbox.

~wh

Teen Dating Violence and Mental Health

teen dating awareness

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Happily ever after---or not? It’s easy for our teens to become enamored with an idea that’s been told over and over again during story time and Disney movies for most of their childhood. What isn’t so easy for them, is to recognize that an unhealthy relationship may not quite be the puppy love story they believe. Teen dating violence and the shadows of mental health illness linger among victims as well as abusers.

Many types of abuse

Teen dating violence involves several types of abuse ranging from physical, emotional/psychological or even sexual. It can be delivered to the victim ever so subtly in the form of bullying, humiliation and jealousy, or it can be visibly obvious on their body or through their behaviors. Sadly, abusive relationships among teens is prevalent, occurring in 1 in 10 teens by way of physical or sexual violence. Even more frequent are the moments of verbal or emotional abuse. In other words, there’s a good chance your teen may have friends involved in teen dating violence or worse, be in an abusive relationship themselves.

Such violence, regardless of the degree of severity, negatively impacts overall mental health. When intimacy is confused with violent or abusive behavior, the seed of abuse and mental illness has likely been planted within the victim and most likely the abuser. The cycle will continue unless the problem is recognized and those negative seeds of intimacy are addressed. Ideally, prevention of teen dating violence is the first step, particularly by dealing with underlying mental health issues.

Why does it happen?

There are factors in a potential abuser's behavioral patterns that can increase the likelihood of teen dating violence which include depression, anxiety and other trauma symptoms. Instances of aggression towards others, the use of drugs or alcohol and being sexually active at a young age are also among those circumstances. Parents and peers involved in relationship violence also influence the probability of teen dating violence. And so, this continuous cycle creeps into its surroundings until the recognition and desire to evolve from it arises.

Some of the very same factors affect a potential victim’s risk of getting caught up in teen dating violence, shining light on the need to address depression, anxiety and trauma issues early on before intimate abuse degrades mental health further. If you see any of the signs of mental health illness (such as anxiety or depression) in your children, there are resources and steps you can take to help them evolve from a state of mind vulnerable to teen dating violence.

What can I do as a parent?

Proactively approaching the situation can steer a potential bad situation from ever happening at all. The most effective tool you have in this situation is communication! Next important step is to provide your teen with a safe place to talk with you. It doesn't happen over night but it will happen if you're consistent and patient. Finally, work on empowering your child or teen with problem solving skills. Even though you're the parent and can "demand" your teen stop seeing someone who is abusive, the reality is unless your teen understands why they are in an unhealthy relationship the possibility of them continuing to engage in those behaviors and relationships are very likely. Information is key!!With technology being so prevalent within our culture, many teens experience dating violence through their social media and electronic devices. Again, talk with your teen. When my kids were teens, I advised them that my job was to protect them and if I had a suspicion or concern regarding their electronics and/or social media that I would randomly ask to see their device content. Many might think this is an invasion of privacy, however, if you have the conversation and are forthright with that message then teens know what to expect and will respect the honest between you.

Last but not least...

At the core of this social problem is the quality of mental health among individuals and their families. It’s important to take a deep breath as a parent and know there are resources within reach to address concerns within your teen’s psyche, or even be proactive about maintaining balance. School counselors, social workers, and online education are all support reserves waiting to be tapped to ease the pressures of effective parenting. Learn more!! You’ll become empowered by educating yourself and asking for help! Don’t forget, I’m always available for more conversation if you have a concern. Contact me for your 30-minute complimentary consultation. Take care!

wh